General Forum
RE: friday...the 13th...>:)
Can you make a beautiful woman fall in love with a man long past his sell by date ;)
RE: friday...the 13th...>:)
Polina, bestest friend, you know I am under your spell already :-)
RE: friday...the 13th...>:)
well then mondo, open your wallet, and open it wide, and get ready for a not so big surprise
hehehehe
hehehehe
RE: friday...the 13th...>:)
can you make me less attractive to women? I am currently inundated with chicks from all over the world and it is becoming difficult to have time to check them all out. They are lined up outside my door 24/7 and the neighbors are starting to complain about the mess they are creating.
RE: friday...the 13th...>:)
you already put me under a spell and i can see no way out of it but i'm not complaining :-)
RE: friday...the 13th...>:)
I am feeling lucky today.....is the 13th or am I under spell?
Who cares all is gre8...another beer please.
Cheers,
M-Man
Who cares all is gre8...another beer please.
Cheers,
M-Man
RE: friday...the 13th...>:)
The local rock music station has
various tasks people undertake .
In order to qualify to compete for a
cash prize of $40,000.00.
For the latest task a woman had to spend
the evening of Friday 13 in a cemetery all
alone, untill the morning.
They were really going to spook her just before.
I have not heard how she made out.
If you are interested, I will let you know ;)
various tasks people undertake .
In order to qualify to compete for a
cash prize of $40,000.00.
For the latest task a woman had to spend
the evening of Friday 13 in a cemetery all
alone, untill the morning.
They were really going to spook her just before.
I have not heard how she made out.
If you are interested, I will let you know ;)
witch bitch........madmermaid
definately dont go see this b***ch. she lies......she constantly iggy....unless you pay...........she pretends you special...........then f***cks other guys..........she will take your money.........then use it on another man.......the worst of the worst
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
Welcome to real world sugar.
On the other hand.. why should one believe you?
On the other hand.. why should one believe you?
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
no need believe me psy. all i can say is don't believe any girl here.
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
it not what you did to me Olesya. It is what you did NOT do. I spent long hours in your vids. I thought you were special. You said you will visit me. Instead you visit many other countries doing your sexy belly dances for other men. Did you even try to get visa to visit me? I think not. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
from what i hear olesya does trick others. thks rb for shinning some light on this very real problem!
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
pity that light shines straight through your empty vaccuum head anonymous
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
Real class Cmdr, laughing at the lower ranks. I don't see how your troops could have respected you as a person.
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
good point Don, I'll remember that. by the way have you or anyone else seen "Admiral?".........I have not seen any of his posts in the forum for quite some time now.
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
hahahahahahaha.......omg.why would anything come to you except maybe some infectious disease.grow a spine sniveler
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
If your stupid enough to follow advice that is posted like that more fool you.
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
i am sure you like being lied to and conned probably say nothing ...please hurt me more...lol doormat.......of course i fight back....any REAL MAN would
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
i call a spade a spade...........if she was not a b***ch i would never call her that
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
only a bitch would take MY MONEY and use it to visit ANOTHER MAN
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
bring it in close jellyfish.there are no guarantees as they say a fool & his money are soon parted.so consider that you have learnt 2 things.be careful & you are a fool.how big only you know.now slip back into the water & lick your wounds never will be a man
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
As I see it, rb, your first mistake was coming here for purposes other than either adult or non-adult entertainment. If you're here to find a steady gf, you're living in a dream world. Very, very few hosts are willing to open their private lives to clients. As to how she spends her money that you paid her for performance, that's her call - as is whether you want to visit her again. But flaming her for doing her job, doing it well, then living outside her WORK (note that word, please) hours as she chooses to is neither appropriate, nor was your post particularly well-received - as the *tremendous* number of negative replies to your post would seem to indicate.
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
A real man would post the words bitch and fuck without the little girly * and wouldn't get conned by a host in the first place.
is it any wonder she did her sexy belly dances for evryone else apart from you.
is it any wonder she did her sexy belly dances for evryone else apart from you.
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
you rock!!! great call.pity you can't see the smile you gave me :-))))
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
no smoke without fire... do i need to translate this for you
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
if one were to take an educated guess, i suppose 'most' of the chathosts act in the way that rb has described. i certainly got burned with a chathost here that i adored very much. i find it interesting that she always welcomed me into her chatroom, but then one day suddenly disappeared without a trace. :((
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
ever noticed that the conversations are initiated by us viewers in video chat.. 95% of women on here do not talk outside of CC. (unless - where are you bb - come to vid)
In other words - she is only interested when the $$ are incrementing.
the other 5% are sweet women who are honest about the real lives - those are my friends.
In other words - she is only interested when the $$ are incrementing.
the other 5% are sweet women who are honest about the real lives - those are my friends.
RE: Interesting
venting some anger, yes, that seems to be the main purpose.
but maybe an implied suggestion that perhaps a host should only be paid after she's come to visit and done her belly dance for you.
good advice, rb. thanks, bud.
but maybe an implied suggestion that perhaps a host should only be paid after she's come to visit and done her belly dance for you.
good advice, rb. thanks, bud.
RE: Interesting
well as to fame....at least they know going in what they dealing with. as to personal things......she posts on her profiles(yes she has more than one) that she does belly dances professionally. All that public knowlege. As for other man....I guess you right. It wrong for me to post that in public. I am just very angry and jealous that she saw other man and not me. That is the TRUTH. Especially when NOW she says she did not like the other guy much and looks for new guy. Probably she just wants me to spend more money on her. Probably she and other man laughing their way to the bank. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RE: Interesting
rb, it's clear to her and obvious to alot of us..you are fucking crazy. You spent hour$ in vid and what did you expect after that? You thought you bought her affection and she now owes you something? No wonder you paid an internet girl hours to spend time with you...no REAL WOMAN would do it in real life.
RE: Interesting
Couldn't agree more. I've seen her a few times and never thought she was leading me on. Hope rb was an exception but....Oh well all the best to all who enjoy this site and the lovely miss O.
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
all girls at CC lie ...what is the new news? lol Believe they will meet you? you still leave cookies for santa claus? spend you money on Lottery you have better odds of winning that , then to have a CC girl hook up with you :)lol don't call women names ..is in bad taste. they are women doing a job..it is a business!!! alot of girls have "rules" set down by their bosses. Just because you spent money on her does not mean you own her and get to tell her where she may or may not dance ...you received what you paid for "video chat" . move on
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
Then I have won the lottery a few times already, and found some genuine and generous and gorgeous girls here,
Sure some will act here, thats what you sem to want,
but some , will enjoy good company, and does not seem to matter adult or non adult.
The best chats i ever had was with not shy,
and the most generous host i met , that woukd not let me pay when i visted her was in shy, and did adult here..
3 have been to my house, and i would trust them 100% ..
so lets not make out all here are the same , its really not true,
remember they are someone daughter ,, and most here are nice..
Sure some will act here, thats what you sem to want,
but some , will enjoy good company, and does not seem to matter adult or non adult.
The best chats i ever had was with not shy,
and the most generous host i met , that woukd not let me pay when i visted her was in shy, and did adult here..
3 have been to my house, and i would trust them 100% ..
so lets not make out all here are the same , its really not true,
remember they are someone daughter ,, and most here are nice..
MadMermaid..FlamingHeart..Olesya
To everyone,
I remember when I first came to CC and a very popular host broke many hearts here, BUT she did it to make ONE special guy happy forever. A sincere host here who finds her special man MUST beak a few hearts, but she cant help it. Every good host has many guys who are dear to her. In most cases only ONE can be the special one.
I hope you find your special one Olesya. Don't worry if it hurts a little that you can't choose everyone. If you have not found him yet, don't worry. He will come to you some day. Until then have fun doing your bellydances around the world.
Tseluyu
I remember when I first came to CC and a very popular host broke many hearts here, BUT she did it to make ONE special guy happy forever. A sincere host here who finds her special man MUST beak a few hearts, but she cant help it. Every good host has many guys who are dear to her. In most cases only ONE can be the special one.
I hope you find your special one Olesya. Don't worry if it hurts a little that you can't choose everyone. If you have not found him yet, don't worry. He will come to you some day. Until then have fun doing your bellydances around the world.
Tseluyu
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
well all i can say is i know her very well she is a very kind and sweet girl se has never lied to me once and never will and i trust her 100%
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
excellent & well put post.its not the hearts that are broken,that's inevitable.broken hearts mend & if we learn from it & not let it fester in our soul it opens our heart so we are more ready to love & be loved.to commit 100% to the one who makes our life complete..i guess most of us have many loves in life but to find that one special love that is deep & without conditions is the basis of true happiness.
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
what aload of crap. are you reading some woman's magazine there? Becasue you sound like a sensitive fag.
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
if your counting score fine, thats a sure sign of bambino behavior on your part.
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
all I know is Russian women are HOT! nothing else matters :)
RE: witch bitch........madmermaid
i have met Olesya n shes not a b**ch,,u r just after revenge rb,,its her job 2 make money n it upto her who she meets,,, u don't own her just coz u spend $$on her,,,,,,i'm sure u go from girl2girl spending yr $$,,n i'm sure u'v play the field 2 in yr days..
she is a sweet girl n not using anyone,,,i am a student with no $$$$ n can't take her 2pvt n she knows this n we talk all the time,,,,,,,,
all i have left 2 say is i'm glad she met the other guy coz yr a nasty piece of work rb
she is a sweet girl n not using anyone,,,i am a student with no $$$$ n can't take her 2pvt n she knows this n we talk all the time,,,,,,,,
all i have left 2 say is i'm glad she met the other guy coz yr a nasty piece of work rb
RE: Chechnya
Whatever happened to the idea of national sovereignty? Maybe I'm not up on my International agreemements, but it seems awfully presumptuous for a court in France to order the Russian government to do anything.
RE: Chechnya
I fully agree. France is always acting silly and thinks they more powerful than they are. As for me, after the chechnyans blew up that school (300+ children killed) I lost all sympathy for them. Let Russia kill them all. BTW Please kill any Al Queyda Al jazeri or any other Muslim extreemists you happen to find with them. Let them go to paradice and meet with their 70 virgin brides.
RE: Chechnya
blow up the whole station.........actually i was just venting my frustrations. I dont think anyone should really do that.
RE: Chechnya
I hear ya. The horrible things people can justify doing to other people in this world is very frustrating indeed.
Too bad everyone couldn't just vent their frustrations on internet forums and wash their hands of them completely. ;-)
Too bad everyone couldn't just vent their frustrations on internet forums and wash their hands of them completely. ;-)
RE: Chechnya
it's a very good point anon3. the russian security forces did the same thing a few years ago in a moscow theater, so when the security forces tried to save the hostages, more hostages ended up being killed by these so called elites. yea, those are truely elite forces alright! lol
RE: Chechnya
aha the terrorist did not kill the children.......the security forces trying to save them killed the children............tell me honestly........is anyone really that stupid to believe?....IF I take a hostage and that hostage dies it is MY FAULT always always.....I should never have taken children hostage. PERIOD......... END OF DISCUSSION You must also believe that when a terrorist hides in a house with other innocent civilians and later the house attacked........it was the fault of the attackers....mean attackers killed innocent civilians......or if bank robber takes hostage robbing bank..........and the SWAT police make mistake and the hostages killed in shoot out it was the police at fault? NEVER NEVER the police the security forces SWAT teams all are trying to wipe out the bad guys and protect the CIVILIZED people.
RE: Chechnya
well what the fuck reddbaron we all know ur a Russkie at heart! Jeezzz man why don't you do some fucking research for a change!? there were more innocent civilians killed in the moscow debacle by the so called "sleeping gas" used by the security forces, and that's an absolute fact! if ur that upset over all this BS, maybe you just finally need to move over there!
RE: Chechnya
It doesn't matter if I am a "Russkii"phile or not. I also know that YES sometimes police and military from ALL countries sometimes get heavy handed. Russian Police have a very bad reputation for this, and with reason.
Having said all that, NOBODY and NO COUNTRY is perfect. Mistakes will be made. I just think when a terrorist or criminal takes hostages or uses human shields, IT IS NOT the police of military's fault when BY ACCIDENT innocent civilians are killed. The Military or police are TRYING to save the hostages, not kill them. Can you say that the Russian Military TRIED to kill those school children? NO NEVER........they TRIED their best to save them. It was the CHECHNYA TERRORISTS who took the children as hostage. After that happened all sympathy I had for CHECHNYA was forever gone. I actually BEFORE THEN was somewhat sympathic to a small cultural group wanting freedom. THEY LOST ALL MORAL HIGH GROUND AFTER THEY DID THAT. many countries broke away from Soviet Union after the break up, MOST done relatively without violence. Sure some Russians treated badly in a few countries.....and sure the Russians treated some ethic groups badly as well. BUT all in all they MOSTLY acted civilized. EXCEPT the MAFIA THUGS in CHECHNYA.
Having said all that, NOBODY and NO COUNTRY is perfect. Mistakes will be made. I just think when a terrorist or criminal takes hostages or uses human shields, IT IS NOT the police of military's fault when BY ACCIDENT innocent civilians are killed. The Military or police are TRYING to save the hostages, not kill them. Can you say that the Russian Military TRIED to kill those school children? NO NEVER........they TRIED their best to save them. It was the CHECHNYA TERRORISTS who took the children as hostage. After that happened all sympathy I had for CHECHNYA was forever gone. I actually BEFORE THEN was somewhat sympathic to a small cultural group wanting freedom. THEY LOST ALL MORAL HIGH GROUND AFTER THEY DID THAT. many countries broke away from Soviet Union after the break up, MOST done relatively without violence. Sure some Russians treated badly in a few countries.....and sure the Russians treated some ethic groups badly as well. BUT all in all they MOSTLY acted civilized. EXCEPT the MAFIA THUGS in CHECHNYA.
RE: Chechnya
again baron you missed the point and wasted a lot of space for nothing. now your trying to play all sides as if to please everyone with your "middle of the road stance" it's old hat, and doesn't wash with me. I just mentioned a simple fact that was true by the way and i'll stand by it, you know (the moscow debacle). but yes i understand because of your russian connection that you have to play politics. so, by all means, bring every country in the world into your essay, and who knows, you might just make some browny points with everyone.
RE: Chechnya
as opposed to your blinkered view of things.simple ideas from sinple reactions.things go wrong because humans aren't perfect and if hostages etc weren't taken in the first place the events after would never have unfolded.
RE: Chechnya
Mine is not a middle of the road stance. I am very firmly AGAINST the criminals in Chechnya........and very firmly AGAINST all terrorists in general. And very firmly BEHIND and SUPPORTING those very brave men who combat them every day. And I will not back stab them if they make a mistake. NO ONE perfect.
Lets go back to the original idea ......you seem to be sidetracked with the fact I have Russian friends.
It was stated the Russian troops killed the school children. WRONG! Chechnyan Mafia Rebels killed them. I did not see the military try to kill children NO they accidently caused a few deaths while TRYING to save the children. THE Chechnyan Rebels are to blame.
Lets go back to the original idea ......you seem to be sidetracked with the fact I have Russian friends.
It was stated the Russian troops killed the school children. WRONG! Chechnyan Mafia Rebels killed them. I did not see the military try to kill children NO they accidently caused a few deaths while TRYING to save the children. THE Chechnyan Rebels are to blame.
RE: Chechnya
once again you dont see the point. the chechnya rebels hide with the civilians and when the russians attact innocents die......as I said before the deaths are on the CHECHNYAN MAFIA REBELS
RE: Chechnya
gentlemen, please be careful about talking world politics. you might offend 2000. and he doesn't want to be disturbed.
RE: Chechnya
feell freee nto discuss worldpolitics in the bforums all you want, just don't proscribe views to me that i do not hold.......enjoy children
RE: Chechnya
as usual posted as anonymous
i repeat you children have a good time here with your wild rants, but i have nothing to do with this thread or any politics
blow yourselves up, have a good time
i repeat you children have a good time here with your wild rants, but i have nothing to do with this thread or any politics
blow yourselves up, have a good time
RE: Chechnya
Pretty Host, I can't speak for the second phrase because I've never heard it before until now. All im going to say is this, by and large, generally speaking, Americans do love their country, this is true. As to "Amercians hate everybody who don't think the same." That is certainly not a true statement. unfortunately it is perceived when the american government does something, other people automatically think that it's the people. I think an above poster said it best, that this is not the place to talk about anything that has to do with geo-political world history and or otherwise. because the majority of hosts are from Russia, and the majority of members are from the US/UK. i think alot of this mutual mistrust has to do with 50 years of the cold war, which still permeates a great deal of our "phyches" from both east and west. It is true, that neither side will ever trust each other, and im very sorry to have to say that. sometimes yes, the truth is both sad and hurtful, but that's just the way it is..........
RE: Chechnya
LLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL very funny :D and like all good shutka.......it has a piece of the truth. ;)
RE: Chechnya
With all due respect PH, I personally believe the ColdWar contunues into this very way, as unfortunate as it is. I know that nobody believes what i have to say in here, and that's cool, all are entitled to they're own opinions. Knowing a little bit about this subject, lol, I can tell you one certain fact that will only be denied again, by those who think they have all the answers, but I'm going to say it anyway. Both the US and the Russian Federation, yes, to this day, have nuclear tipped warheads atop ballitic missles, otherwise known as ICBM's, and both sides still have they're missles pointed at each other's respective countries. So without going into further detail, it must be said that both countries still constitute a threat to one another. Sure, people can say what they want, but sometimes the truth hurts and nobody wants to hear it. Now as you can tell from my past postings on this subject or near this subject anyway as to both country's "pshche," this post will not go over too well, so consider this post in any way you would like to transform it, or transcend it, into your's or anyone else's own way of thinking.
Ok, having said all of that, I believe it's high time to move on to more light hearted subjects as was mentioned we all try to do earlier. Some may be in agreement with at least doing that?
Ok, having said all of that, I believe it's high time to move on to more light hearted subjects as was mentioned we all try to do earlier. Some may be in agreement with at least doing that?
10 min txt chat for 3 min video
why some people r so annoying in txt chat, want so much, to change, even try to set up rules for the video, cum in 2 min and leave. Let's say no to this, it can't be the deal girls!
RE: 10 min txt chat for 3 min video
Yeah, let's all do what the host wants. Forget what the customer wants.
Horray for host...down with customers that only come here for quick meaningless sex!!
Horray for host...down with customers that only come here for quick meaningless sex!!
RE: 10 min txt chat for 3 min video
Yes, life would be great if there were no customers. I have the same problem in my job!
silly idea
You cant expect people to come straight into video without asking what they will see for their money.. its bad business. I agree sitting there all night just yapping is bad manners if you have potential customers there. Being rude about them or not wanting to take the time to say hi and be polite to your customers.. after all without them your rent doesnt get paid! I for one would rather chat for ten minutes.. have a 3 minute video than have customers feel they are not welcome in my room. Just my opinion.
RE: silly idea
i agree about spending the time in text with members, i have found that if i'm friendly and they enjoy a little chat from me, even if the resulting vid is short, many come back and chat, and that second, third, forth vid is longer, i love my regular guys and it's not all about the money, i enjoy when we chat, even when there is no resulting vid, for me it's really all about building relationships
RE: silly idea
Personally I like to have a text chat before a vid to find out what the host is all about. If she's a lttle rude or uninterested I probably won't bother with the vid but if I do and she is still indifferent I won't stay. It's all down to the host really.
RE: silly idea
I don't think that's true. I'm never rude or greedy but I have a limit to what I can afford. If you are too expensive you will never get to meet me.
RE: 10 min txt chat for 3 min video
i love the once that come straight in video, it is so cheap here and many can afford the little chat in video. Let's make a campaign about banning the free chat. Sites with free chat have 4 time bigger minimum prices and i know few that everybody pays $6 dollars per minute.
RE: 10 min txt chat for 3 min video
i know of a site where a guy can see the host for free, but has to pay to chat.
heck if i know how the site stays in business.
heck if i know how the site stays in business.
RE: silly idea to Jiverman
so you're saying because I can't afford to pay high prices i'm not worth talking to? then it's your loss. I like to think i'm a nice guy and I treat the girls with respect but i'm not rich. so who was being greedy exactly?
RE: silly idea to Jiverman
you,if you dont want to chat in video and get to know hosts-it means you are greedy,because you are sure that if you pay- you want some action in video,not just chat,right?
RE: 10 min txt chat for 3 min video
but i'm happy to chat in vid too. I think you have to remember that not all guys who come in cc are sex mad perverts.
Soon be home time
Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in The Villages, in Florida.
They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that
they enjoyed each other's company.
After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out
for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely
evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town.
Despite his age, they ended up at his place for an after-dinner drink.
Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor,
Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.
As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared,
each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.....
Claude was thinking: "If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been
gentler."
Maude was thinking: "If I'd known he could still do it, I'd have
taken off my pantyhose."
They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that
they enjoyed each other's company.
After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out
for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely
evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town.
Despite his age, they ended up at his place for an after-dinner drink.
Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor,
Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.
As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared,
each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.....
Claude was thinking: "If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been
gentler."
Maude was thinking: "If I'd known he could still do it, I'd have
taken off my pantyhose."
feeling Better :-)
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his
father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's
legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are
you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I
have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.
Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's
legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are
you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I
have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.
Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
Still bored
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police
station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most
wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it
really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him.
Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most
wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it
really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him.
Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
I'm bored again
The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we
had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern
where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
Okay, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do
it for old times sake?"
"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy but very good idea!"
There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this,
and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two
old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so
there's no trouble." So he follows them.
They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by
walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their
way to the fence.
The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.
Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman
has ever seen. This goes on for about 10 minutes. Finally, they both
collapse panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed.
He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple
struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The policeman, still watching thinks this was truly amazing.
"I've got to ask them what their secret is."
As the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something
else. You must have had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort
of secret to this?"
The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern
where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
Okay, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do
it for old times sake?"
"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy but very good idea!"
There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this,
and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two
old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so
there's no trouble." So he follows them.
They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by
walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their
way to the fence.
The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.
Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman
has ever seen. This goes on for about 10 minutes. Finally, they both
collapse panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed.
He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple
struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The policeman, still watching thinks this was truly amazing.
"I've got to ask them what their secret is."
As the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something
else. You must have had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort
of secret to this?"
The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
RE: Learn to drive Aussie style,, funny shit
Good to be back, but I don't think I really ever left :-)
RE: Learn to drive Aussie style,, funny shit
Chopper doesn't really exist, lol he's an ex Rugby player trying to make a dollar on TV.. LOL
Video about Romania
Nice 18-minute clip showing the beauty of Romania:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/223897/romania/
(but I don't think they mention videochat in it :p)
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/223897/romania/
(but I don't think they mention videochat in it :p)
RE: Video about Romania
Let's not over react, shall we? :) ( have nothing against her, just that.. it's a bit.. too much.. no, I'm not jealous )
The vid is cute.. could have been way better.. the pictures are good and bad quality, mixed together, from different sites, different years... parts of another video.. meh, I think I could do better than this and at least the music could have been a bit more variated..
Heh thank you anyway, Christian :)
The vid is cute.. could have been way better.. the pictures are good and bad quality, mixed together, from different sites, different years... parts of another video.. meh, I think I could do better than this and at least the music could have been a bit more variated..
Heh thank you anyway, Christian :)
RE: Video about Romania
Sorry Psy sure didn't mean to slight you. Your also a rare beauty. Thanks for reminding me.
RE: Video about Romania
It wasn't about me, I don't care.. just that there are here, at least, so many others :) that's all..
RE: Video about Romania
i'm in bucharest now and it is a very lovely city and i hope to come back next year
RE: Video about Romania
I said it and I will say it again, I don't care what others think, especially when it's about people I hardly know.
And once again!! it wasn't against Anne.. it could have been any other host, I would have said the same thing.
Anyway, sorry Anne, it's just not one of my best days, I truly have nothing against you.
And once again!! it wasn't against Anne.. it could have been any other host, I would have said the same thing.
Anyway, sorry Anne, it's just not one of my best days, I truly have nothing against you.
RE: Video about Romania
Oh will you just kiss my ass? I apologised, ok? And I already said it, even if it was about another host, I would have done the same.
Give me a break.
Give me a break.
3 wishes
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
...
..
..
..
..
The man had a heart attack ten times milder
than his wife ..
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them
continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humor
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
...
..
..
..
..
The man had a heart attack ten times milder
than his wife ..
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them
continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humor
The last check
Today my baby girl's 18th birthday I be so glad that this be my last child
support payment! Month after month, year after year, all those damn
payments! So I call my baby girl, LaKeesha, to come to my house, and when
she get here, I say, "Baby girl, I want you to take this check over to yo
momma house and tell her this be the last check she ever be gettin' from me,
and I want you to come back and tell me the 'spression on yo mama's face."
So, my baby girl take the check over to her momma. I be anxious to hear what
she say, and bout the 'spression on her face. Baby girl walk through the
door, I say, "Now what yo momma say 'bout that?"
She say to tell you that "you ain't my daddy" .... and watch the 'spression
on yo face
support payment! Month after month, year after year, all those damn
payments! So I call my baby girl, LaKeesha, to come to my house, and when
she get here, I say, "Baby girl, I want you to take this check over to yo
momma house and tell her this be the last check she ever be gettin' from me,
and I want you to come back and tell me the 'spression on yo mama's face."
So, my baby girl take the check over to her momma. I be anxious to hear what
she say, and bout the 'spression on her face. Baby girl walk through the
door, I say, "Now what yo momma say 'bout that?"
She say to tell you that "you ain't my daddy" .... and watch the 'spression
on yo face
The Old Man and the Towel
An elderly Jewish gentleman marries a much younger woman. No matter what the husband does sexually, his wife never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the Rabbi.
The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion: "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on the desired event."
They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It doesn't help and she's still unsatisfied.
Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi. "Okay", he says to the husband, "let's try it reversed." Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."
Once again, they follow the Rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets going with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting, screaming orgasm.
The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly, "You see, you young schmuck? THAT'S how you
wave a towel"
The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion: "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on the desired event."
They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It doesn't help and she's still unsatisfied.
Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi. "Okay", he says to the husband, "let's try it reversed." Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."
Once again, they follow the Rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets going with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting, screaming orgasm.
The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly, "You see, you young schmuck? THAT'S how you
wave a towel"
URGENT!!!!!!!!!!
do u have any ideea what time maria sharapova will play tomorow at moscow tour PLSSSSSSSSSS tell me . i ADORE her
Company Policy
EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY:
Company Policy:
Effective from 10/01/06
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders Category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Company Policy:
Effective from 10/01/06
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders Category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
When you know its time to move on
This is in regard to a few posts from a thread below made by amazingbbw. Is chathosting a real job?
Well I have what we call a real job now so I can share my experience. I make less then I used to make in here, the working hours are longer and the stress is higher. But in my opinion there's a certain limit for videochatting and you cant do it forever. I know now things arent that great but i have to think about the future and videochat is a great thing to do when u are 22-23 but not when you're 30 or 40 (thats just my opinion). I dont wanna wake up one day and realise that i havent done anything with my life. Sure its great fun and the money are good too but still...it is not a career and certainly it is not the way i want my life to go. I had 5 incredible years as a chathost and it has been quite a life experience for me, it has changed me in so many ways. I was 18 when i first experienced chathosting (it was even the first time i opened a computer:D). I am not the same anymore but i dont regret a thing. So girls, please, dont live to regret it...find the best time for you to move on and start you careers while u still can.
Well I have what we call a real job now so I can share my experience. I make less then I used to make in here, the working hours are longer and the stress is higher. But in my opinion there's a certain limit for videochatting and you cant do it forever. I know now things arent that great but i have to think about the future and videochat is a great thing to do when u are 22-23 but not when you're 30 or 40 (thats just my opinion). I dont wanna wake up one day and realise that i havent done anything with my life. Sure its great fun and the money are good too but still...it is not a career and certainly it is not the way i want my life to go. I had 5 incredible years as a chathost and it has been quite a life experience for me, it has changed me in so many ways. I was 18 when i first experienced chathosting (it was even the first time i opened a computer:D). I am not the same anymore but i dont regret a thing. So girls, please, dont live to regret it...find the best time for you to move on and start you careers while u still can.
RE: When you know its time to move on
You could say the same thing for stripping at a club however there are women who get enhancement to allow them to perform into their 40s in places like Vegas where the money is so good.
I have meet hosts here operation out of their house who have both a regular job and host too. They use the host job to supplement their income and it makes a world of difference in their lifestyles.
In short you can have both worlds up to the point you don't need the extra income and would like more sleep :)
I have meet hosts here operation out of their house who have both a regular job and host too. They use the host job to supplement their income and it makes a world of difference in their lifestyles.
In short you can have both worlds up to the point you don't need the extra income and would like more sleep :)
RE: When you know its time to move on
very wise words indeed, wish you sucess in your new career...ever thought about coming back to cc for a little bit?
Oh and thanks for the double anal penetration shows you did, there were great
Oh and thanks for the double anal penetration shows you did, there were great
RE: When you know its time to move on
Not even going to say goodbye? *sniff* Oh well. I wonder what the best memories of CC you are going to take with you are? Hehe...
Take care Joy... and never say never eh?
TNTTYLOHC
Take care Joy... and never say never eh?
TNTTYLOHC
RE: When you know its time to move on
Dont worry i'm not gone forever:) I still read the forums...and maybe on a lonely saturday night...who knows, you could still see me here...just for the kicks an not for the money;)
RE: When you know its time to move on
Yes it is true joy, the salary the hosts earn here is usually higher than what they earn in a "real" job and also the amount of time a host can do this job has it's limits.
Unfortunately many hosts do not give much thought to the future... they're young and naive, dreaming of boys and more concerned about buying the latest fashions or what club to go to tonight with their friends than about planning for their financial futures. So many hosts here work long hours during the winter months and then when spring and summer come they take months off at a time and travel and go on long holidays until they finally run out of money and are broke, then they come back here and start the whole process over again. Sure they have fun and a nice rest, but it does nothing for their financial futures. God knows how fast the time goes by. Suddenly one day you look in the mirror and realize u have gotten older and ur life is not what u had dreamed it would be at this age. And you think of all the money you wasted on silly things and how you could have had a better life now if you had saved and made wiser decisions about the things you spent ur money on.
If done correctly, because a host normally earns much more here than they do in regular jobs in their native countries, a host could maintain a modest yet comfortable standard of living in her country working here while she saves and invests as much of that extra money as she possibly can. Then when she felt it was time to stop hosting and move on to the next chapter of her life, she would have a considerable amount of money in savings and investments to put into starting her own business of her choice, instead of having to try to find a job working for someone else at a much lower salary than she had grown accustomed to.
Unfortunately many hosts do not give much thought to the future... they're young and naive, dreaming of boys and more concerned about buying the latest fashions or what club to go to tonight with their friends than about planning for their financial futures. So many hosts here work long hours during the winter months and then when spring and summer come they take months off at a time and travel and go on long holidays until they finally run out of money and are broke, then they come back here and start the whole process over again. Sure they have fun and a nice rest, but it does nothing for their financial futures. God knows how fast the time goes by. Suddenly one day you look in the mirror and realize u have gotten older and ur life is not what u had dreamed it would be at this age. And you think of all the money you wasted on silly things and how you could have had a better life now if you had saved and made wiser decisions about the things you spent ur money on.
If done correctly, because a host normally earns much more here than they do in regular jobs in their native countries, a host could maintain a modest yet comfortable standard of living in her country working here while she saves and invests as much of that extra money as she possibly can. Then when she felt it was time to stop hosting and move on to the next chapter of her life, she would have a considerable amount of money in savings and investments to put into starting her own business of her choice, instead of having to try to find a job working for someone else at a much lower salary than she had grown accustomed to.
RE: confused...
monika, even before looking at your pictures I was fairly certain that he still almost certainly has romantic feelings towards you - but after looking at them I have no doubt at all that he is still hoping that he may have a chance with you. but i agree it is almost certainly the best reason to give him
RE: confused...
easy fuck his brains out if you like it marry him if you dont ...go back to being just friends
RE: confused...
nah.... just tell him that you dont strip even in 121 and he'll go away fast.... ROFL
RE: confused...
try honesty.if he is your friend he will listen & understand.having you in his life will mean more to him that not having you in his life at all.some people confuse love with being"in love".maybe he is lonely & if he is your friend & you trust him maybe you have a gf who he would be good with & for.just a thought
RE: confused...
I had the same problem a few years ago, my girlfriend's best friend said she liked me, I said I liked her too. She said she REALY liked me, so I fucked her everytime I could. That was the best sex I had in a long time.
Moral of the story...fuck him, it may be the best sex you ever had, if not, tell him you charge $1 a min to chat with him and he can jackoff to you.
Moral of the story...fuck him, it may be the best sex you ever had, if not, tell him you charge $1 a min to chat with him and he can jackoff to you.
RE: confused...
WOW!! a girl asks for some advice & some of you boys can be so bitchy.no wonder drop kicks like you are here sprouting your vile garbage,its the only way insipid nothings like you can feel(foolishly & incorrectly)like men in your cowards' castles.you are a bunch of moronic soft cocks!! pretty witch bet you are glad you don't have friends like these arse splinters. :-)))
RE: confused...
And where is your advice pvtfree??? Oh wait, you only came here to mouth-off and take potshots at others...how ironic.
RE: confused...
didn't come here for that but the depth of the vile & imbecile like responses from some bitchy guys compelled me to respond.not that it has anything to do with you but my advice to pretty is given & will continue to be given in private correspondence between us.you see pretty is a close friend of mine.hope this explaination has solved the missing advice question for you brutis.good luck..
RE: confused...
dude, and you so totally responded without sounding bitchy-like and an imbecile yourself! kudos, zippy, how do you do it!?!
RE: confused...
i see ur in real troubles........i guess its not easy to tell him.......but there is no other way i could advice u! i hope he will get it the right way.
btw....i guess that could happen to u anytime again.......its not easy to be "just" a good friend with such an attractive girl. Even a real friendship is a great thing too.
and pls forget about Brutis .... not all men are the same
btw....i guess that could happen to u anytime again.......its not easy to be "just" a good friend with such an attractive girl. Even a real friendship is a great thing too.
and pls forget about Brutis .... not all men are the same
RE: THX
if from what i read is true then you don't want him to be that close. if he's a true friend then he will understand and hopefully realise what a good friend he has and woouldn't want to lose that. i wish you all the best in whatever may come of the situation. xx
WHY REDNECKS CAN'T BE PARAMEDICS!
A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one
of them grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be
breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba's dead! What should
Ah do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it
easy and follow my instructions.
First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence...and then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now whut?"
of them grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be
breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba's dead! What should
Ah do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it
easy and follow my instructions.
First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence...and then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now whut?"
And there's more
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
Threat alert
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats
and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or
even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz
in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been
re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the
British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire
of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and
Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or
even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz
in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been
re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the
British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire
of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and
Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
And another one
One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone
had written the word 'penis' in tiny letters. She turned around, scanned
the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased
it, and began her class.
The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the
word 'penis' again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain
for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.
Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found
the same disgusting word written on the board, each day's word, larger
than the previous day's word.
Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same
word on the board, but instead, found the words:
"The more you rub it, the bigger it gets
had written the word 'penis' in tiny letters. She turned around, scanned
the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased
it, and began her class.
The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the
word 'penis' again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain
for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.
Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found
the same disgusting word written on the board, each day's word, larger
than the previous day's word.
Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same
word on the board, but instead, found the words:
"The more you rub it, the bigger it gets
English Humour
A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the door
and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around
at her feet.
"I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"
She said, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."
"If you don't mind my asking," he said, "what do you use it for?"
"We use it for sex," she said.
The researcher was a little taken aback. "Usually people lie to me and say
they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in
fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your
honesty. Since you've been so frank so far, can you tell me exactly HOW
you use it for sex?"
The woman said, "I don't mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on
the doorknob and it keeps the kids out."
and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around
at her feet.
"I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"
She said, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."
"If you don't mind my asking," he said, "what do you use it for?"
"We use it for sex," she said.
The researcher was a little taken aback. "Usually people lie to me and say
they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in
fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your
honesty. Since you've been so frank so far, can you tell me exactly HOW
you use it for sex?"
The woman said, "I don't mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on
the doorknob and it keeps the kids out."
RE: English Humour
In other words, only after they've been lobotomized and castrated. And even then, only if you first wind them up to go on and on about Wombles or Teletubbies or Mr. Bean.
Dress them up as Mounties and let the get times roll, eh.
Dress them up as Mounties and let the get times roll, eh.
USMC
Just something picked up from British Army site
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1543658,00.html
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1543658,00.html