General Forum

Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision.
I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs... Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."
I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, it's as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner.
Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.
I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?
Thanks,
Bob

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http://webcam2.ipnet.spb.ru/view/view.shtml

A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.

The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a "YeeeeHaaaaa!" so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yeeeeehaaaaaa!" and rode off.

"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.

"Nothing. I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback."

Just saw you talk about Destony below... very tragic :(

I knew the girl using Destony before, Irina. She studied law and left a year ago. But it's not Irina who died now, it's the last girl who used it, is that correct? :O

If you were wondering about the importance of etiquette in the male restroom - look here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw&NR

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sitting here and reading while in chat room-watching the words flash on the screen and thinking of people here and people in my past: people who makes a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards: They are the ones that care. Here is a quiz for you to ponder on, see how you do on this:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name 3 friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name 5 people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you fell appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with

Why if a member has a gr8 time with a girl in her video does he go and post something about her in the members forum..?
It really does confuse me, why does he not post it in her private forum instead, would be much better, then more members could see the post and then judge for themselves if they go to her video..

But to me posting in the members forum is just insane, cos all they are doing is making things worse for that girl, YES they may feel they are doing a good thing by posting it, but in the long run it doesn`t help one bit, all it does is get rude members to visit that girl and ask her how did she make him waste so much money and what she did for him.
Not only that, but then other members post bad remarks about the girl..about gr8 advertising etc etc... I have seen it many times in the members forum.. Like what is the point guys.. If you loved the video session with that girl so much just either tell her that or post it in her private forum.. It will be better for her and won`t make u regret posting what u did in the long run..

Well thats al li have to say, and i know i`ll get attacked also, but i`m just very curious about why they do it is all..... :)

so i goes to the doctors and ask him whats wrong with me ? He says '' youre a hypochondriac ''......... i reply '' Feck, not that as well''.........

BBC2 tonight 11.40 pm not to be missed

She asked the respect of a video visit and even though the net is cranky for me today i went to her video. i explained that i was sorry, but the connection was not good she kept saying if you don't like it leave. Wierd....

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I haved chatted with some hot, high priced hosts in text chat. Just shooting the breeze. I can't afford their video prices. They talk and I note they don't get many videos or if they do it is only for a few minutes and they are back chatting.

Question. If a high priced host lowered her price clearly she would get a lot more business. Probably make more money. Why not? Lazy? Boss wont let you? Saves wear and tear on the equipment? High opinion of your own value? I am curious.

Why dont hosts run sales? Sunday morning specials. Slow period so for a limited time my price is whatever. I see hosts tinker with their pics, their profile and change the hours they are here. They still say business sucks and they are bored. But when I suggest that you catch a lot more fish at .99 minute than 1.99 and up they seemed shocked.

One of the British national daily newspapers is asking readers "What it means to be British?"

Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one from a chap in Switzerland...

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all?
Suspicion of anything foreign.

Oh and!!!!!

Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars.

And finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.


RULE BRITANNIA!!!!!

*_Some of the finest double entendres on British TV & Radio_*

Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:

"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come
in his shorts."

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson
lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny,
other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen
Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World
Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he
wished he had a hard on now."

Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on
This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed
last night."

'Winning Post's' Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's
formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he
sees."

Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil,
tell us about your amazing third leg."

Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire
match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he
just tossed it off."

Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's
nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What
does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today
after a 69."

The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away...
"My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big
race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about
coming from different positions."

Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live
said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and
didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight
inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing
so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and
kisses them ... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven
Dicks on the field."

Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that
nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford
crew."

Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I
once rode her mother."

New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl
Gibson comes inside of him."

Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from
Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4C1-f9raD7o

I go to video with a very pretty little shy host. She has not worked at cc very long and really is a little shy. However, she has been working long enough to know what most guys want. A quick show so they can cum without spending too much money. It is not much fun for her, but it is not bad either. And she is glad to do it because she needs the money.

I am fully clothed. We go cam to cam & she begins her show. After a while she notices that I do not seem very interested. She is worried I will leave, so she tries harder. But still nothing seems to have any effect on me.
She does not want to stop her show because she is afraid I will leave, but at the same time she is beginning to feel like a little foolish. Eventually she stops her show.
Host: What is wrong?
Me: Nothing. I guess I am not really in the mood to watch a show.
Host: You do not like me?
Me: I like you a lot. You are very pretty and you seem nice.
Host: Is there something special you want me to do?
Me: No.
Host: hmmmm. OK. Do you just want to talk?
Me: Yes, that would be nice. You look cold. Get dressed and we can talk for a while.
Me: (joking) Or maybe I can give a show for you".
She laughs, then begins to think....
Host: You are serious?
Me: hmmmm. I don't know. maybe. If it is something you want.
Host: I can just sit and watch?
Me: (starting to feel a little nervous) Yes
She gets a sparkle in her eye and smiles.
Host: You will be my host? You will do what I tell you?
Me: (hesitates, then answers) Yes. I will do what you tell me to do.
She begins to feel interested in this idea, but she is also very cautious. She does not want me to leave. She really needs the money!
Host: What should I tell you to do?
Me: Uh, I don't know. Maybe that should be your decision. What do members tell you to do?
The host smiles more now. She thinks this is her lucky day. This crazy guy will pay her to sit here and do nothing while he gives her a show!
Host: (still a little cautious but with growing enthusiasm) "OK! Stand up and dance for me."
She is surprised when I immediately begin dancing and her smile grows larger. She makes herself comfortable and begins thinking about what she should tell me to do next. She also notices that I did not hesitate to obey and begin dancing . She can tell I am a little embarrassed to dance for her, but she also thinks she sees some excitement in my face. Then she notices a bulge in my pants that was not there before. We both begin to wonder.. What the hell is going on here?

There is a more.. Should I continue?

NZ 41 - England 20 ... it's a good day to be a kiwi :)

I found the cutest little fuck-buddy here. She is non-adult but our chats are the hottest sex you can imagine. We have arranged to meet when I travel to her city on business. Soon we will see if reality lives up to cyber and we'll see if she's brave enough to show up. I hope so because these trips can be coting otherwise.

There was once a sheep farmer who needed help with the difficult task of castrating some of his inferior male sheep to keep them from breeding with the females.

He hired a French guy who didn't speak much English, but was a very good worker. After the first day, they had successfully castrated 14 sheep and his French worker was just about to throw away the "parts", but the sheep farmer yelled, "No! Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them. They're delicious and we call them 'sheep fries'."

Later that day, the French hired hand came in for supper, and indeed the 'sheep fries' were tasty. The next day, they castrated 16 sheep, and the following evening they all settled down to another supper of 'sheep fries'.

The third day, however, when the sheep farmer came home, he asked his wife where the French hired hand was, and she said, "You know, it's the weirdest thing! I told him since there weren't very many 'sheep fries' this evening, we were also going to have French fries, and he ran like hell!!"

The United States spent $200,000.00 and two years studying why the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. After two years the researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft simply for a mans pleasure.

The Germans did not think the Americans conducted an accurate study so they did the same study except they spent $300,000.00 and three years. After three years they determined that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft simply for the pleasure of women.

Now the Polish did not believe that the Germans or the Americans had any clue as to what they were studying. So the Polish did a study of their own and spent $400.00 and four weeks and concluded that the head of a man's penis was there so his hand would not slip off and hit him in the forehead.

An eighty year old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, "Oh oh !"
The man asked the doctor what the problem was.
"Well," said the doctor, "you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?" "Do you drink in excess?"
"No," replied the man.
"Do you have a sex life?"
"Yes, I do!"
"Well," said the doctor, "I'm afraid with this heart murmur, you'll have to give up half your sex life."
Looking perplexed, the old man said, "Which half...the LOOKING or the THINKING ???"

remember, remember the Fifth of November

strange how when i ask a girl to do a sexy tease show and not undress, within 1minute her knickers are down around her ankles and if i see a girl that i'd really like to see naked she teases me until i go crazy. oh how contrary