General Forum

How PW, Olgaolga and gort all say the same shit, boring, usless, and boring...but, we can understand 2 of the 3....also notice, most of the host, that post her consistantly, are non adault...hmmm

I have no idea why lately this place is so full of girls loving themselves and guys always willing to kiss some asses ..Lately,the forums are filled up with crap,nothing exciting,challanging,just some lame posts from PW&Co ..

if any of you are receiving missed calls on your cell phone from country code 86 or 861........they are coming out of china and there has to be scm going on..............contact your cell phone provider

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When the traveling salesman got the message at the hotel desk that his wife
had given birth, he rushed to the phone.

"Hi honey," he cried happily. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Irving, Irving," sighed his wife wearily, "is that all you can think about?
Sex, sex, sex?"

A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the emergency operator asked.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"

who was the first person to look at a cow say"i think i'll squeeze these pink dangly things & drink whatever comes out"
who was the first person to say"see that chicken there i'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of its ass."
why is there a light in the fridge & not in the freezer?
why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time,but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is?
why does your obstetrician,gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
if corn oil is made from corn & vegetable oil is made from vegetables,then what is baby oil made from?
if electricity comes from electrons,does morality come from morons?
do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
did you ever notice when you blow in a dogs face he gets mad at you,but when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head out the window?
if a deaf person has to go to court is it still called a hearing?
why does someone believe you when you say there are billions of stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?
whose idea was it to put an"S" in lisp?
if its true that we are here to help others,what are the others doing here?
how is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

are you happy? or in what moments you feel that you are happy?

Does anyone know what has happened to 1mermaid?, would like to know if she has left here for good, or maybe has a new name??

I am so much in love. What can I do? Do we go public? What would she say?

Men are as faithful as their options.

a romanian girl? no shit? really?

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A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his fronch porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look", she said. What's your secret for a long happy life? "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day and I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." That's amazing, said the woman, "how old are you?" "Twenty-six, " he said

I been having headaches for 20 years now and just had to go to a doctor. The doctor said, "Chase, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news my friend is that it will require castration. As I look up at him from the bed I thought oh my God. The doc said I had a very rare condition, which causes my testicles to press on my spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. He said the only way to relieve the pressure was to remove my testicles.."

I was shocked at first and became depressed over these last days. I wondered if I had anything to live for, but I had no choice but to go under the knife.

When I left the hospital, I was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but I felt like I was missing an important part of myself.

As I walked down the street, I realized that I felt like a different person. I said to myself I could make a new beginning and live a new life. I saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need, a new suit. That'll make me feel a little better." I entered the shop and told the saleslady, "I'll like a new suit".

The elderly saleslady eyed me briefly and said, "lets see hmm, size 44 long. I laughed and said, "thats right, how did you know?

"Been in the business 60 years!" the lady siad. I try the suit on and it did fit perfectly.

As I admired myself in the mirror, the saleslady asked, "How about a new shirt?" I thought for a moment and than said, "Sure".

The saleslady eyed me and said, hmm lets see, 34 sleeves and 16 1/2 neck. I was surprised. "That's right, how did you know?" Been in buisness 60 years she said.

I tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. As I walked comfortably around the shop and the saleslady asked, "How about some new underwear?" I was sort of a little shy at the moment and thought and said, "Sure."

The saleslady said, hmm lets see...size 36. I laughed, and said I got you now, I've worn a size 34 since I was 25 years old.

The saleslady shook her head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

New Suit-----$400
New Shirt--- $50
New Underwera-- $12
Second Opinion----PRICELESS

One guy says to his friend; "I've been making a lot of Freudian slips lateley." His friend asks "What do you mean?"

"Well, for example, at the train station, I asked for a Picket to Tittsburgh!"

"I know what you mean," his friend replies. "I've been having the same problem. The other day I was reading the paper while I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted to say "Honey, can you please pass the salt?" But instead I said...."You bitch; you ruined my life!""

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
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2. A will is a dead giveaway.
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3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
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4. A backward poet writes inverse.
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5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
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6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
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7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
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8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
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9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
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10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
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11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
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12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.
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13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
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14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
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15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
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16. A calendar's days are numbered.
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17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
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18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
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19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
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20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
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21. A short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
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22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
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23. When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
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24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
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25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
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26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
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27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
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28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
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NOTE: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

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A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him.
"My name is Carmen," she told him.
"That's a beautiful name," he said. "Is it a family name?"
"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most - cars and men."
"What's your name?" she asked.
"Beertits."

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I am utterly confused. freeda makes many posts, she is Non-Adult, makes many very Adult posts, has man trouble, man trouble is sorted, and now, she has NEVER been kissed????? Mind you, her pics are GREAT.

A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay
containing these four elements:
*religion
*royalty
*sex
*mystery

The prize-winning essay read:
"My God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"