General Forum
vale steve irwin 1962-2006
on wildlife"i have no fear of losing my life-if if i have to save a koala or a crocodileor ar a kangaroo or a shark,mate i will save it."
on his catchcry"crikey means gee-whiz,wow!"
on his affinity with nature"snakes are just very instinctive to me.i've been playing with snakes since before i could walk.it doesn't matter where or what it is,from the biggest to the most venonmous."
on his first contact with a crocodile"the first crocodile i ever caught was at nine years of age & it was a rescue."
on his dangerous job"you know you can touch a stick of dynamite,but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around & bite you so fast its not even funny."
on his favourite animal"take the crocodile,for example,my favourite animal.there are 23 species.seventeen of those are rare or endangered.they're on the way out,no matter what anyone does."
on being afraid"i probably don't show fear,but i suffer from fear like everyone else."
on the animal kingdom"the only animals i'm not comfortable with are parrots,but i'm learning as i go.i'm getting better & better at 'em,i really am."
on his life"let's face it mate,i'm a conservationist & conservation's a very hard sell."
on hollywood"crikey mate.you're far safer dealing with crocodiles & western diamondback rattlesnakes than the executives & the producers & all those sharks at the MGM building."
on his heritage"i'm a proud australian,a very very proud australian."
on his attitude to life"i get called an adrenaline junkie every other minute & i'm just fine with that."
about his wedding day"i've been busted up,had cartilage operations,had my chest ripped to bits-blood & broken bones are no big deal.but the pain of standing there in a suit with a tie around my neck,i'll tell ya.i'd rather have a python around my neck."
of course for his honeymoon he embarked on a crocodile trapping trip into the Australian outback.
today wednesday september 6 2006 bob irwin,steve's father, declined the offer of a state funeral saying that his son would not want all the fuss as he was just an ordinary bloke.
on his catchcry"crikey means gee-whiz,wow!"
on his affinity with nature"snakes are just very instinctive to me.i've been playing with snakes since before i could walk.it doesn't matter where or what it is,from the biggest to the most venonmous."
on his first contact with a crocodile"the first crocodile i ever caught was at nine years of age & it was a rescue."
on his dangerous job"you know you can touch a stick of dynamite,but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around & bite you so fast its not even funny."
on his favourite animal"take the crocodile,for example,my favourite animal.there are 23 species.seventeen of those are rare or endangered.they're on the way out,no matter what anyone does."
on being afraid"i probably don't show fear,but i suffer from fear like everyone else."
on the animal kingdom"the only animals i'm not comfortable with are parrots,but i'm learning as i go.i'm getting better & better at 'em,i really am."
on his life"let's face it mate,i'm a conservationist & conservation's a very hard sell."
on hollywood"crikey mate.you're far safer dealing with crocodiles & western diamondback rattlesnakes than the executives & the producers & all those sharks at the MGM building."
on his heritage"i'm a proud australian,a very very proud australian."
on his attitude to life"i get called an adrenaline junkie every other minute & i'm just fine with that."
about his wedding day"i've been busted up,had cartilage operations,had my chest ripped to bits-blood & broken bones are no big deal.but the pain of standing there in a suit with a tie around my neck,i'll tell ya.i'd rather have a python around my neck."
of course for his honeymoon he embarked on a crocodile trapping trip into the Australian outback.
today wednesday september 6 2006 bob irwin,steve's father, declined the offer of a state funeral saying that his son would not want all the fuss as he was just an ordinary bloke.
RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006
Nice post , tisme.. I've met the man himself. nice bloke..May he rest in peace..
RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006
thankyou for that.. I had been searching for Irwin quips yesterday but these are great.. and good on his dad for letting him be buried the way he would want. Although I have a couple of friends knew him.... they live about 30 miles from his Croc sancturary farm thing and met him through there. I doubt the Australian people are going to let the funeral pass by without some public displays of respect :-) might even take a moment myself. Miss NB xxx
RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006
"i have no fear of losing my life-if if i have to save a koala or a crocodileor ar a kangaroo or a shark,mate i will save it."
i guess he was saving the stingray.
i guess he was saving the stingray.
RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006
no thanks but your suggestion was read,considered then thrown with all the other useless anonymous garbage here. p.s what makes you think i'm a kangaroo?
RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006
i don't know anything about the kangaroo remark, but having read some excellent advice about NOT responding to "smart asses" and their remarks.........I'll refrain from not responding any further........
to useless anonymous
"i'll refrain from not respeonding any further".refrain means not do,so if you refrain from not responding then you will respond.grammar is like maths 2 negatives equal a positive. :-))))
RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006
Having given me a window of oppertunity here tis, I still believe that everyone knew what I was trying to say without having to say it 100% correctly. Have a good one......MrPerfect
to useless anonymous
1)just because u make the assumption that everyone knew what you were trying to say is besides the point.its not a reason for ur slovenly use of grammar.u can do better & should always try to look listen & learn then you will grow & develop.
2)i donot think or claim to be perfect. coz that would make me a fool & i'm not a fool.as i like to learn from my errors i was hoping that you might also appreciate help
3)don't ever feel you need an"opening"to say anything to or about me.if you think it needs to be said"say it"don't hold it inside you.release it & it will grow or diminish on its veracity
2)i donot think or claim to be perfect. coz that would make me a fool & i'm not a fool.as i like to learn from my errors i was hoping that you might also appreciate help
3)don't ever feel you need an"opening"to say anything to or about me.if you think it needs to be said"say it"don't hold it inside you.release it & it will grow or diminish on its veracity
RE: to useless anonymous
as the very good anonymous who posted about you earlier said, since you are a smart ass, a smart ass doesn't deserve a response back, because it only eggs him on to provoke another response, and that's how you people keep your ridiculous arguements going on in here. It's like a tennis match, only played with grammar instead of a ball. so i'll let someone else start hitting your balls back to you, that's why i said earler, i'll refrain from future remarks. This is CamContacts, not Cambridge University!
RE: can you make a man cum by massage??
i've never had this, but i've heard ot it. I think its called Thai Body Massage
RE: can you make a man cum by massage??
Yes you can. Some women can make you cum without even touching you.....
RE: can you make a man cum by massage??
thats not a question..... that just a fact ... you rub up any guy naked with your hole body... he they will cum ..... but have had it done and it os quiet mmmmmmmmmmmmm
Wrestling Match
A RUSSIAN AND A REDNECK WRESTLER WERE SET TO SQUARE OFF FOR THE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL.
BEFORE THE FINAL MATCH, THE REDNECK WRESTLER'S TRAINER CAME TO HIM AND SAID, "NOW, DON'T FORGET ALL THE RESEARCH WE'VE DONE ON THIS RUSSIAN. HE'S NEVER LOST A MATCH BECAUSE OF THIS 'PRETZEL' HOLD HE HAS.
WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT LET HIM GET YOU IN THAT HOLD! IF HE DOES, YOU'RE FINISHED"; THE REDNECK NODDED IN ACKNOWLEDGMENT.
AS THE MATCH STARTED, THE REDNECK AND THE RUSSIAN CIRCLED EACH OTHER SEVERAL TIMES, LOOKING FOR AN OPENING.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE RUSSIAN LUNGED FORWARD, GRABBING THE REDNECK AND WRAPPING HIM UP IN THE DREADED PRETZEL
HOLD. A SIGH OF DISAPPOINTMENT AROSE FROM THE CROWD AND THE TRAINER BURIED HIS FACE IN HIS HANDS, FOR HE KNEW ALL WAS! LOST. HE COULDN'T WATCH THE INEVITABLE HAPPEN.
SUDDENLY, THERE WAS A SCREAM, THEN A CHEER FROM THE CROWD AND THE TRAINER RAISED HIS EYES JUST IN
TIME TO WATCH THE RUSSIAN GO FLYING UP IN THE AIR. HIS BACK HIT THE MAT WITH A THUD AND THE REDNECK COLLAPSED ON TOP OF HIM MAKING THE PIN AND WINNING THE MATCH.
THE TRAINER WAS ASTOUNDED. WHEN HE FINALLY GOT HIS WRESTLER ALONE, HE ASKED, "HOW DID YOU EVER GET OUT OF THAT HOLD? NO ONE HAS EVER DONE IT BEFORE!"
THE WRESTLER ANSWERED "WELL, I WAS READY TO GIVE UP WHEN HE GOT ME IN THAT HOLD BUT AT THE LAST MOMENT, I OPENED MY EYES AND SAW THIS PAIR OF TESTICLES RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. I HAD NOTHING TO LOSE SO WITH MY LAST OUNCE OF STRENGTH I STRETCHED OUT MY NECK AND BIT THOSE BABIES JUST AS HARD AS I COULD."
SO THE TRAINER EXCLAIMED, "SO, THAT'S WHAT FINISHED HIM OFF!!"
"NOT REALLY. YOU'D BE AMAZED HOW STRONG YOU GET WHEN YOU BITE YOUR OWN NUTS!"
BEFORE THE FINAL MATCH, THE REDNECK WRESTLER'S TRAINER CAME TO HIM AND SAID, "NOW, DON'T FORGET ALL THE RESEARCH WE'VE DONE ON THIS RUSSIAN. HE'S NEVER LOST A MATCH BECAUSE OF THIS 'PRETZEL' HOLD HE HAS.
WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT LET HIM GET YOU IN THAT HOLD! IF HE DOES, YOU'RE FINISHED"; THE REDNECK NODDED IN ACKNOWLEDGMENT.
AS THE MATCH STARTED, THE REDNECK AND THE RUSSIAN CIRCLED EACH OTHER SEVERAL TIMES, LOOKING FOR AN OPENING.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE RUSSIAN LUNGED FORWARD, GRABBING THE REDNECK AND WRAPPING HIM UP IN THE DREADED PRETZEL
HOLD. A SIGH OF DISAPPOINTMENT AROSE FROM THE CROWD AND THE TRAINER BURIED HIS FACE IN HIS HANDS, FOR HE KNEW ALL WAS! LOST. HE COULDN'T WATCH THE INEVITABLE HAPPEN.
SUDDENLY, THERE WAS A SCREAM, THEN A CHEER FROM THE CROWD AND THE TRAINER RAISED HIS EYES JUST IN
TIME TO WATCH THE RUSSIAN GO FLYING UP IN THE AIR. HIS BACK HIT THE MAT WITH A THUD AND THE REDNECK COLLAPSED ON TOP OF HIM MAKING THE PIN AND WINNING THE MATCH.
THE TRAINER WAS ASTOUNDED. WHEN HE FINALLY GOT HIS WRESTLER ALONE, HE ASKED, "HOW DID YOU EVER GET OUT OF THAT HOLD? NO ONE HAS EVER DONE IT BEFORE!"
THE WRESTLER ANSWERED "WELL, I WAS READY TO GIVE UP WHEN HE GOT ME IN THAT HOLD BUT AT THE LAST MOMENT, I OPENED MY EYES AND SAW THIS PAIR OF TESTICLES RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. I HAD NOTHING TO LOSE SO WITH MY LAST OUNCE OF STRENGTH I STRETCHED OUT MY NECK AND BIT THOSE BABIES JUST AS HARD AS I COULD."
SO THE TRAINER EXCLAIMED, "SO, THAT'S WHAT FINISHED HIM OFF!!"
"NOT REALLY. YOU'D BE AMAZED HOW STRONG YOU GET WHEN YOU BITE YOUR OWN NUTS!"
RE: Riddle
A very embarrassed
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer,
with a broken Christmas bell? ;)
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer,
with a broken Christmas bell? ;)
RE: Riddle
and then you make her squeal like a little pig ... oh wait, that's a different story!
RE: Riddle
What's Red and goes Tring, Tring, Tring?
The telephone at the Communist Party Head Quarters!
A sunburnt blonde who got confused about 'a handy lunch pack'!
A traditional phonebox in the middle of London!
The MD of Nokia when he gets really angry!
His wife trying out the latest waterproof Nokia phone!
A red bell!
The telephone at the Communist Party Head Quarters!
A sunburnt blonde who got confused about 'a handy lunch pack'!
A traditional phonebox in the middle of London!
The MD of Nokia when he gets really angry!
His wife trying out the latest waterproof Nokia phone!
A red bell!
RE: Riddle
Nadeen's clit and four clit rings when she says to her bf "right a hair...left a hair.....the ring the ring the ring .........."
RE: Riddle
do i have enemies here?...why do u piss me off, anonymous? ...do u want me to shut up or what?
the only reason i keep posting here is to have fun and to share good things with cc-community...have i ever posted here any BS or offensive things?
tell me your problem, maybe u have some clit's rings without any idea how and with whom to use them?
the only reason i keep posting here is to have fun and to share good things with cc-community...have i ever posted here any BS or offensive things?
tell me your problem, maybe u have some clit's rings without any idea how and with whom to use them?
RE: Riddle
tut tut my sweet.....you know there are perv and those of lessor minds here? Best to ignore posts from less than the master race............
ANSWERS
ok...i think it's a time for answer now...as i said there r 4 answers to the riddle:
1. a tomato...and the TRING TRING TRING was to confuse u :P
2. the door bell and the RED was to confuse u :P
3. a cake...and both were to confuse u :D
4. a fire brigade...why r u confused? ;)
1. a tomato...and the TRING TRING TRING was to confuse u :P
2. the door bell and the RED was to confuse u :P
3. a cake...and both were to confuse u :D
4. a fire brigade...why r u confused? ;)
RE: ANSWERS
Nadeen, I do not submit to your mastery? , Mistressery?, lol, heck I don't know, but if you were not so beautiful in that Kate Beckinsale way , with the "Van Helsing", "UnderWorld: Evolution" Look going on, I would have been disappointed in your 4 answers, but since you are the way you are, Keep telling Riddles, I'll keep on coming!
RE: ANSWERS
what gay fire brigade have you been listening to?? And FYI, cakes ARE red and they DO make that sound.
RE: ANSWERS
booboo, would it be too gay of me to say that you're quickly becoming my hero on these forums?
RE: ANSWERS
yes, that would be too gay - but some days I wake up and I crave some rear door action, and today just happens to be one of those days, so I now have a horrendously big boner thanks to you :)
RE: ANSWERS
lol....i'm both honored and scared shitless.
...all i have to say is keep it up, man. :)
...all i have to say is keep it up, man. :)
RE: ANSWERS
I shall do that :-) Actually, having the recipient scared shitless is a bonus - don't really like getting poo on my pole, if you know what I mean - and makes the whole ass-to-mouth thing which comes later, a bit of a gag-fest.
85 yo male exam
As part of his yearly physical exam, the doctor requested a sperm count
from his 85-year-old male patient. The doctor gave the man a jar and said,
"Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave
him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The
doctor asked what happened.
The man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right
hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her
left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
then with her teeth out, still nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too. First with
both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her
knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep. None of us could get the jar open".
from his 85-year-old male patient. The doctor gave the man a jar and said,
"Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave
him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The
doctor asked what happened.
The man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right
hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her
left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
then with her teeth out, still nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too. First with
both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her
knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep. None of us could get the jar open".
Zoo:-))
Two camels (a mother and a baby) were lazing around, when suddenly baby camel said.
Baby: "mother, mother, can I ask you some question?"
Mother: "sure! why son, is there something bothering you?"
Baby: "why do camel have humps?"
Mother: "well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store water and we are known to survive without water."
Baby: "okay, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded."
"Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert. You know with these legs I can move around the desert better than anyone",said the mother proudly.
Baby: "okay, said baby camel. "then why are our eye lashes long? Sometimes it is bothering my sight." said baby camel.
Mother: "my son, those long thick eye lashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind." Said mother camel with eyes brimming with pride.
Baby: "I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eye lashes protects my eyes from the desert. Then what the hell are we doing here in a zoo???
Baby: "mother, mother, can I ask you some question?"
Mother: "sure! why son, is there something bothering you?"
Baby: "why do camel have humps?"
Mother: "well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store water and we are known to survive without water."
Baby: "okay, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded."
"Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert. You know with these legs I can move around the desert better than anyone",said the mother proudly.
Baby: "okay, said baby camel. "then why are our eye lashes long? Sometimes it is bothering my sight." said baby camel.
Mother: "my son, those long thick eye lashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind." Said mother camel with eyes brimming with pride.
Baby: "I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eye lashes protects my eyes from the desert. Then what the hell are we doing here in a zoo???
The Prostitute Parrot:-))
A posh lady bought a parrot for some company.
Unfortunately, the parrot would only say "My name is Mary & I'm a whore".
She could not get the parrot to say anything else and it kept saying the same thing, usually at the most inopportune moments, much to the lady's embarrassment. One day the parish Priest visited the lady and while he was there the parrot squawked out the only words it would say. After apologizing profusely to the Priest, the lady explained that the parrot resisted all efforts at reformation. The Priest offered to take the parrot to visit the two parrots he owned. His parrots were well trained and all they would say were Hail Marys while clutching rosaries in their claws. He was certain they would be a good influence on the lady's parrot.
So the Priest took the parrot to his house and put it in the cage with his parrots. The first words out of the lady's parrot were, "My name is Mary & I'm a whore".
The priest, being most anxious to see what would happen was flabbergasted when one of his parrots said to the other, "Throw that damn rosary away, our prayers have been answered!"
Unfortunately, the parrot would only say "My name is Mary & I'm a whore".
She could not get the parrot to say anything else and it kept saying the same thing, usually at the most inopportune moments, much to the lady's embarrassment. One day the parish Priest visited the lady and while he was there the parrot squawked out the only words it would say. After apologizing profusely to the Priest, the lady explained that the parrot resisted all efforts at reformation. The Priest offered to take the parrot to visit the two parrots he owned. His parrots were well trained and all they would say were Hail Marys while clutching rosaries in their claws. He was certain they would be a good influence on the lady's parrot.
So the Priest took the parrot to his house and put it in the cage with his parrots. The first words out of the lady's parrot were, "My name is Mary & I'm a whore".
The priest, being most anxious to see what would happen was flabbergasted when one of his parrots said to the other, "Throw that damn rosary away, our prayers have been answered!"
Little Red Riding Hood
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees
the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.
"My what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.", says Little Red Riding
Hood.
The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away!!!
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf
again, this time he is crouched behind a tree stump.
"My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf.", says Little Red Riding
Hood.
Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away.
About 2 miles down the track, Little Red Riding Hood sees the
wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign.
"My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf.", taunts Little Red
Riding Hood.
With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams... "Will you
fuck off, I'm trying to take a dump"!
the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.
"My what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.", says Little Red Riding
Hood.
The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away!!!
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf
again, this time he is crouched behind a tree stump.
"My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf.", says Little Red Riding
Hood.
Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away.
About 2 miles down the track, Little Red Riding Hood sees the
wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign.
"My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf.", taunts Little Red
Riding Hood.
With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams... "Will you
fuck off, I'm trying to take a dump"!
RE: Little Red Riding Hood
lol, that has to be one of the funnier ones I have heard on here!! excellent work mr wolfman!
RE: Little Red Riding Hood
The only problem is, it wasn't a joke. Everytime I turn around she is there. I ate her once and now she keeps coming back. How do I get rid of her? :P
RE: Little Red Riding Hood
hmmm, you ate her and she keeps coming back? ... sounds like the dodgy Kung Pao Chicken I had last week from Billy-Bob Chu's Chinese Restaurant and Taxidermy Emporium ...
RE: Little Red Riding Hood
Banana being a fruit you are getting the meaning of ate me mixed up.
Wolfman went between my legs and ATE me - is it any wonder I keep coming back.
Wolfman went between my legs and ATE me - is it any wonder I keep coming back.
RE: Little Red Riding Hood
you got me RRH, excellent answer :) I hear you squeal like a little pig ... hmmm, I wonder who does the blowing in your relationship with the wolfman?
Question
Will they hunt and kill the Stingray that killed Steve Irwin? If it was a crocodile, they are usually hunted and killed...
RE: Question
You probably can't tell them apart. And anyway it's not the same kind of thing. Those sting rays are just operating on a sort of blind instinct.
RE: Question
Let me give this one a shot and try to answer it. I have dived off of the Texas coast in the Gulf of Mexico and have seen many a stingray of all different shapes and sizes, but I have never approached one, and always keep a safe distance whenever I have seen one. That said, Steve Irwin's life was all about making contact with animals both on land and sea. Since a stingray, like a shark doesn't see a man, it see's a shadow approachiing it and assumes that it's being attacked by an underwater mammal. So it strikes back in order to protect itself out of instinct. Because Steve would have known this, had he survived, I don't think he would have wanted the ray killed. Animals and mammals were his life, he knew about this kind of thing. What happened was extremely unfortunate, but I think Steve would have wanted that stingray to live it's normal undersea life. He was just that kind of a good guy! :)) As for the croc's, thats another story, as those things can live on land and water.
RE: Question
U should leave ur body to science - that way they can figure out how ur synapses are linked so cum up wit such a dumb question
Vlad the Bat (lmfao)
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me", he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of excited bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went across a river and into a huge forest.
Finally he slowed down and all other bats excitedly milled around him, tongues hanging out for blood.
"Do you see that large oak tree over there?" he asked.
"YES, YES, and YES!!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good!" said the bat, because I fuckin' didn't!"
Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me", he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of excited bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went across a river and into a huge forest.
Finally he slowed down and all other bats excitedly milled around him, tongues hanging out for blood.
"Do you see that large oak tree over there?" he asked.
"YES, YES, and YES!!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good!" said the bat, because I fuckin' didn't!"
HELP!!!!!!!!
Help, I am in deep sh*t. Some time ago, my cousin Anon E Mouse, had a problem and most of you responses were both helpful and sympathetic. Before I start, any replys without a name - Anonymous - and no serious content, can be done without.
Right, I have only ever been with one host in vid, 121. I see her nearly every night for at least two hours. We make love two or three times a night, and she says she really loves me, and does not get totally naked for any other man anymore. At first, I used a condom, but after a few weeks she said it wasn't neccessary, so I stopped using them. A few days ago, she started to act a bit strange, would only make love every couple of days. I asked her what was wrong, and she said she is pregnant. Well, I was gobsmacked, I thought she was on the pill. Then she says that I must be the father, because she has not had vid/virtual sex with any other man since she met me. She says I must go to her in Romania and marry her. She wants me to get a fiancee visa to bring her back to my country. The bottom line is, what the heck do I do????????
Right, I have only ever been with one host in vid, 121. I see her nearly every night for at least two hours. We make love two or three times a night, and she says she really loves me, and does not get totally naked for any other man anymore. At first, I used a condom, but after a few weeks she said it wasn't neccessary, so I stopped using them. A few days ago, she started to act a bit strange, would only make love every couple of days. I asked her what was wrong, and she said she is pregnant. Well, I was gobsmacked, I thought she was on the pill. Then she says that I must be the father, because she has not had vid/virtual sex with any other man since she met me. She says I must go to her in Romania and marry her. She wants me to get a fiancee visa to bring her back to my country. The bottom line is, what the heck do I do????????
RE: HELP!!!!!!!!
I think I know this girl - how has her mum's operation gone? And were the exams ok after I paid the school fees? And did her birthday occur within a few weeks of you first going to video with her?
RE: HELP!!!!!!!!
wow...so much effort for something just not really funny....thanks for trying though, man.
RE: HELP!!!!!!!!
dude, as I see it, you don't have a problem ... send her some virtual money to help cover the costs of her virtual pregnancy, and when the time comes for her to pop out her virtual baby, buy yourself a virtual ticket, get a virtual fiancee visa and make a virtual visit. Since you are apparently living an unreal life here on the internet, then you should have no problem with any of this ... actually, I can help out with the virtual ticket if you send me $1537.23 in real money ... I've already amassed a minor fortune in virtual money and all it has got me so far is some virtual sex (coincidentally with the same chick you are talking about, but I had the wisdom to pull out at the last second and virtually come in a real bucket) and a dose of the virtual clap, so now I have decided to make all my future transactions in real money and have real sex with the neighbor ... she takes credit cards so I think I'm in there!! :-)
RE: what Banana caught
yeah, I thought about that but I always put down one of those nifty little virtual paper seat cover things to prevent my virtual ass from getting virtual crap on it (well, I tend to get my own crap all over it during the course of a normal day, but other people's virtual crap if a different story).
RE: HELP!!!!!!!!
id she pregnat after virtual sex????????????????????
how that can be??????????
how that can be??????????
RE: HELP!!!!!!!!
I worried about catching a computer virus here, that why I always use a condom in virtual sex.
And I don't even wanna know how folks use "Spam" here.. Talk about kinky sex....yyeeoowwww
And I don't even wanna know how folks use "Spam" here.. Talk about kinky sex....yyeeoowwww
RE: Help!!!!!!! = to Blueyes4U
Well, all I can say is, you took the time to read and post a reply :-)
RE: Thx to all who wanted to help me to find it:)
usually what you can do to find lyrics rather
easily, is goto your favorite search engine,
and do +lyrics +"song phrase"
you'll get your song pretty fast then.
easily, is goto your favorite search engine,
and do +lyrics +"song phrase"
you'll get your song pretty fast then.
RE: Thx to all who wanted to help me to find it:)
But then she wouldn't be able to make a big drama out of it
to Hmmm
you are the one making a drama out of it.gorty posted & was helped by people here,no drama.its your type who turn posts that gorty makes into a drama by hijacking it & turning it away from the original point of the post.the good thing about you & your ilk posting is that gorty now knows she has more friends than those who insult her.so even your negative posts have turned into a positive for her :-)))
RE: Thx to all who wanted to help me to find it:)
Thankyou, Vera. I have been listening for hours, and still could not hear the words. Too much echo, and, they are Americans who cannot speak the Queen's english
RE: Thx to all who wanted to help me to find it:)
christ, man....when you're going to take jabs at americans for not speaking all proper-like, you might want to first give a quick read-through of your message for typo's and grammatical mistakes and such before clicking "reply"......i failed 5th grade english, and even i can pick out a few of your fuck-ups.
to Synon
before you start saying things about us Americans,do a little looking into who sings that song.the name of the artist is ATB and he is from Germany. get your facts straight before you open your mouth.
RE: yesterday i was asked for foto sessions again in life
yeah, lose the kilos - if you think you're a fat pig, then you probably are.
RE: yesterday i was asked for foto sessions again in life
Honey.... if they already asked you to do it again then youre prefect as you are. If you are uncomfortable with how you are now then lose a couple. If happy.. then stick with how you are :) xxx
RE: yesterday i was asked for foto sessions again in life
He wont be back at forum as WTF, if at all...
RE: yesterday i was asked for foto sessions again in life
and the forums are a poorer place without him too ...
RE: LAFEMME007
Yup she sure was...........but gone a long time from cc so I assume she got a real job.........now its your turn LOL
RE: LAFEMME007
Yes she got a real job. I haven't spoken with her for a while but the last I heard she was doing well and had got promoted but was also very busy. She had lost her net connection at home so is seldom on line.
She was a lovely person and an excellent host. Very much missed.
She was a lovely person and an excellent host. Very much missed.
My mother made a meat loaf
My mother made a meat loaf
that provided much distress,
she tried her best to serve it,
but she met with no success,
her sharpest knife was powerless
to cut a single slice,
and her efforts with a cleaver
failed compleatly to sufice.
She whacked it with a hammer,
and she smacked it with a brick,
but she couldn't phase that meat loaf,
it remained without a nick,
I decided I would help her
and assailed it with a drill,
but the drill made no impression,
though I worked with all my skill.
We chipped at it with chisels,
but we didn't make a dent,
it appeared my mother's meat loaf
was much harder than cement,
then we set upon the meat loaf
with a hatchet and an ax,
but that meat loaf stayed unblemished
and withstood our fierce attacks.
We borrewed bows and arrows,
and we firesd at close range,
it didn't make a difference,
for that meatloaf didn't change,
we beset it with a blow torch,
but we couldn't find a flaw,
and we both were flabbergasted
when it broke the power saw.
We hired a hippopotamus
to trample it around,
but that meat loaf was so mighty
that it simply stood its ground,
now we manufacture meat loaves
by the millions, all year long,
they are famous in construction,
building houses tall and strong.
that provided much distress,
she tried her best to serve it,
but she met with no success,
her sharpest knife was powerless
to cut a single slice,
and her efforts with a cleaver
failed compleatly to sufice.
She whacked it with a hammer,
and she smacked it with a brick,
but she couldn't phase that meat loaf,
it remained without a nick,
I decided I would help her
and assailed it with a drill,
but the drill made no impression,
though I worked with all my skill.
We chipped at it with chisels,
but we didn't make a dent,
it appeared my mother's meat loaf
was much harder than cement,
then we set upon the meat loaf
with a hatchet and an ax,
but that meat loaf stayed unblemished
and withstood our fierce attacks.
We borrewed bows and arrows,
and we firesd at close range,
it didn't make a difference,
for that meatloaf didn't change,
we beset it with a blow torch,
but we couldn't find a flaw,
and we both were flabbergasted
when it broke the power saw.
We hired a hippopotamus
to trample it around,
but that meat loaf was so mighty
that it simply stood its ground,
now we manufacture meat loaves
by the millions, all year long,
they are famous in construction,
building houses tall and strong.
RE: My mother made a meat loaf
lol... this is great.. do you write these yourself? and do you mind if I print it out? I put mad poetry on my wall at home and it tickled me! :) xxx
RE: My mother made a meat loaf
thankyou! lol I know this. I have odd little bits Ive collected over the years in little frames waiting to go in my newly decorated hall :) and that was funny... Ill have to have a look for some more I think :) nutter xx thankyou xx
teacher arrested
NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession
of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a
morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes
the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying
weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said.
"They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on
tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x'
and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they
belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in
every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every
triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted
us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more
fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or
profound statement by the President.
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession
of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a
morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes
the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying
weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said.
"They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on
tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x'
and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they
belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in
every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every
triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted
us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more
fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or
profound statement by the President.