General Forum

for noseybird & any1 else....

www.abc.net.au/enoughrope hope you enjoy :-))))
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Russian drivers

I wanna live in Russia, sounds like my kinda place.
Today in the Age newspaper (Melbourne Australia).

Russians are Europe's worst drivers - with 25 percent admitting to having sex while driving, according to a survey by KRC Research and Goodyear. It also found Russians do not use seatbelts, break speed limits, drive through red lights, drive drunk and have sex while driving more often than other Europeans.
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RE: Russian drivers

thats sound more like glasgow looooool east end looool

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RE: Russian drivers

They haven't seen asian drivers in the US. Criky!!!!

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RE: Russian drivers

When i come top russia we can be part of the 25percent that have sex while driving :)

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RE: Russian drivers

Damn, I'm in the wrong country!

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RE: Russian drivers

Too bad at a certain age they start looking like overweight butchers

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RE: Russian drivers

Your not too slim yourself now Monika , and certainly not for your age , if your letting yourself get a bit cuddly ate your age what will you be like when u get past 27- 29 or evne in 30's when its 3 x more difficault to keep looking good,
its so easy till mid 20 ,
its s long time since you saw a slim stoamch im certain , very pretty face tho , and im sure your smart and have a wonderful personality and charm .. so i guess u cant have everything ,

ps , im carrying a few kg extra 2 ,, but then im 38 lol
i was so fit when i was in 20's

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RE: Russian drivers

Schultz what are doing in here? you should be supervising the cleaning of the enlisted men's barracks!

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RE: Russian drivers

knock it off Klink, leave Schultz alone. oh by the way we're digging a new tunnel tonight...........maybe we'll do it under BroomHiilda's quarters?........wanna help?? ;)) think Natasha may be joining us :PP....Oh, the post question was on Russian drivers.......well then, NEVERMIND!

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RE: Russian drivers

and what's wrong with overweight butchers anyway? Some of my best ass-fucks have been with overweight butchers ... one think to say in their favor is that they certainly know what to do with a big piece of meat.

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RE: Russian drivers

or in your case a cocktail weener

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RE: Russian drivers

To all Russian women...bend over I'll drive.

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Happy Birthday, Winnetou!

Have a great day!
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RE: Happy Birthday, Winnetou!

Happy Birthday Win:P

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RE: Happy Birthday, Winnetou!

Happy birthday! :)

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RE: Happy Birthday, Winnetou!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY and NAME DAY to you Winne, and many more..:)

Hope you get many presents, and a lot of desserts, cookies and cream with milk... haha.. Have a gr8 day Winne and i hope you enjoyed your Birthday Cake too.. :P:)

Hugs and kisses from me...

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RE: Happy Birthday, Winnetou!

Happy Birthday......to you. Happy Birthday........to you. Happy Birthday......you little slut (and proud)! Happy Birthday.......to youuuuuuuu....

Hope you had a lovely day Winne't'poo.... save the mouth piece of the cake for me.... I wanna fill it *blushes* (brings back warm apple pie memories.....)

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WTF ...

... welcome back dude!
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RE: WTF ...

Thanks man....not sure if I should kick myself in the ass or what.

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RE: WTF ...

mr. wtf what can we all say; you know you will never be able to leave us all and your fav hobby of writing another psalm of the cc bible you so love to write..........someday you will leave us but it will be at room temp so dont fight it...........

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RE: WTF ...

Welcome back :)

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RE: WTF ...

Things are back to normal. No more fawning sickening praises for ugly hosts. No more love soaked whinings. No more people pretending to be in love or working or coming to CC for the Chat. WTF is the defender of truth.

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RE: WTF ...

Nice to see WTF is back.

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RE: WTF ...

Nice to see his back???
eeewwwww, thanks for that disturbing visual
Welcome back Mr Kotter

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RE: WTF ...

Monika.....answer you emails

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RE: WTF ...

Vinnie, does this mean your dream was your ticket out???

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RE: WTF ...

not sure, the names have all changed since I hung around

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RE: WTF ...

Ok Horshack............hahahahahahahahahah...........Good One! LOL!!
you know i kinda miss that show..........sometimes ;))

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RE: WTF ...

dudes, you're showing your age BIG time!

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RE: WTF ...

a Banana, you see, sometimes being an anonymous can be worth it..... ;))

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In the movie of your life....

something a little silly here... But! If they made a movie of your life.. who would play you and what movie would you like it to be?

Who would play me? Drew Barrymore or Kate Winslet I think. Both curvy ladies.... altough Drew is a rela dirty litlte minx.. so maybe shes closer to the truth.

Movie... Coyote Ugly... now if I only I could learn to balance myself on a bar I'd give this up and wiggle it to music for money! lol It looks like so much fun!

Miss NB xxx
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RE: In the movie of your life....

John Goodman

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RE: In the movie of your life....

Buddy Hacket and it would be Lethal Weapon 14: Undercover in the Coronary Ward

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RE: In the movie of your life....

Jlo >? I think she has a nice figure , for someone 10 years older than you lol,,

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RE: In the movie of your life....

Brad Pitt, Robert Redford or Gerard Derpardieu....it would be an adventure love story...torn between two beautiful women I have to save the world, find the treasure and post messages to CC forums.

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RE: In the movie of your life....

wait....everyone at home says I look, act and talk like Denis Leary....not sure if I should be insulted or just go for a beer.

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Great show - Special4You

Just had a show with Special4You. Very hot girl awesome body and lovely personality. Thanks bb xxx
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RE: Great show - Special4You

I just had a wee-wee. Nothing special, but I thought I'd let you all know. Thx babe!

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Work it out!!!

A farmer had a stone that he used to measure grain on his scale. One day his neighbor borrowed the stone, and when he returned, it was broken into four pieces. The neighbor was very apologetic, but the farmer thanked the neighbor for doing him a big favor. The farmer said that now he can measure his grain in one pound increments starting at one pound all the way to forty pounds (1, 2, 3, 17, 29, 37, etc.) using these four stones.

How much do the four stones weigh?
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RE: Work it out!!!

If your farmer has the old-fashioned type of counterweight scale that has one balance pan on each side, I think that he could use different combinations of 4 stones that weigh 1, 3, 9, and 27 pounds each.

For example, for 2 pounds, put a 1 pound stone on one side and a 3 pound stone on the other side. For 4 pounds, use the 1 and 3 on the same side of the scale. For 5 pounds, use the 9 on one side and both the 1 and 3 on the other. Although I didn't try every single combination of those stones all the way up to 40 pounds (I started getting a brain cramp, lol), I think that these 4 stones would do the trick.

Or, he could hitch up his horse to his wagon, mosey on into town, throw any of those 4 stones through the window of the local general store and grab a $10 bathroom scale :-)

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RE: Work it out!!!

Can you get 7 that way, SG?

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RE: Work it out!!!

1+9 and 3 = 7

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RE: Work it out!!!

Right, gotcha..thx...don't know why i couldn't get that!

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RE: Work it out!!!

well considering your wording of the question... u asked how much do the 4 stones weigh... not how much does each stone weigh... so my answer is 40 pounds which is equal to the highest amount the farmer said he could weigh with the stones.

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RE: Work it out!!!

hey, dudes, do I need to remind you that you are here to see naked chicks and choke the chicken? If want math problems, next time you're hanging around outside the local Catholic high school waiting for the girlies to come out so you can look up their skirts with those nifty mirror shoes I sold you on eBay, go talk to the math teacher.

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RE: Work it out!!!

The answer.....

The stones weigh 1 pound, 3 pounds, 9 pounds and 27 pounds. These can be used in combination with each other on both sides of the scale to come up with any counterweight from 1 to 40 pounds.

: )

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outspoken bitch

Steve Irwin had embarrassed millions of Australians, outspoken expatriate Australian academic Germaine Greer has said.

And those who had mourned him with their tributes at the Irwin family's Australia Zoo in what the British had labelled "a Princess Diana moment" were "idiots", she said.

Mr Irwin, 44, died on Monday when he was stabbed in the chest by a stingray barb while snorkelling on the Great Barrier Reef in far north Queensland.


RELATED LINKS
VIDEO: Stingray hunted
VIDEO: 'My best mate'
PHOTOS: Steve Irwin
Cousteau to finish Irwin film
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RE: outspoken bitch

like she can talk! lol... some people just cant say anything nice and I detect a hint of jealousy that she would not be mourned on such a scale. Silly woman.

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wierd guy

Look, he was no saint.

He was just a photogenuc, charming, half-'whacked guy who found lots of people who loved his wierdness. He had a good talent agent who helped him trranslate he eccentricities into a saleable commodity.

Most of us are quite bent in one way or another, but no one is interested in hearing about it. Irwin was very lucky in that.

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to(the second)anonymous

what colour is the sky in your world?you are obviously delusional.he was much more than a lucky bent person.he had passion,dedication,morals & limitless energy & love for that which he respected,admired & cherished.he did what he did for them not for himself!

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RE: to(the second)anonymous

no, he was indeed a charming wierdo, just as ozzy is a talentless, yet charming wierdo who would be dead in a gutter if not for the great talent agent his wife was

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question to viewers

I posted question about my pictures month ago. As I understood from answers.. men liked them. But I still sit alone in my chat room. :(((((
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RE: question to viewers

most of the men here are idiots, that's why. You're damn hot and I'd do you!

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RE: question to viewers

I tried to cum and see you but you were busy in a 121!!!!

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RE: question to viewers

You are pretty average looking in a place where there are some pretty spectacular looking women. I don't know what your price is but if it is over .99 min that is problematic. You might wish to consider a niche ...go to Fetish and do something a little different that might appeal to some pervs here...high heels..garters...rubber underwear ...that kind of stuff. The other option is to find another line of work. Sometimes it just does not work out here. The market speaks loud and clear. If you are not getting enough members to make a go of it then that should tell you something. Good luck.

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RE: question to viewers

ooh heck youre like the Simon Cowell of CC!!!!! lol

as for ordinary.. I think Im kind of ordinary.. but I do ok. And different men do like different things... although his idea of trying something new out here would be a good plan. (I like to think of myself as the Sharon Osbourne of the gang here I think! lol)

Good luck also :) xxx

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RE: question to viewers

I see you have met the great WTF my nosey little bird ... he has returned from his wanderings and the forums will not quite be the same again.

... and I await an enlightening ccmail from you (by simply squeezing together the "A" and the "B") if you are brave enough to send one ...

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RE: question to viewers

I liked your pics. But I'm straight and I'm not a member.I think you should try to change something. Try to change category, price, style, try to make some pics using another background, etc.Though I don't think price may play. I have spoken to another girl who is also non-adult and she shows even less than me but she has 1.5 and 3 price. Seems she has less video durations but finally she has the same payments. It's well that if you dont like something and you try to change it. May be you need some time if you're new.As we tell here Moscow wasn't built instantly. Good luck, girl :)

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RE: question to viewers

Try to convince your boyfriend to join you and move in Couples.If you have one..if not..be a bit cheaper for a day.Good luck!

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RE: why???

lonely

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RE: why???

agoraphobia......i haven't been outside in weeks......real people just freak me out.

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RE: why???

Very lonely

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RE: why???

coz if i ask women outside to show me their boobs they slap me :(

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RE: why???

Sexy Women on tap, why else?

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RE: why???

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, to meet lovely people..
this lovely person knows who i'm talking about..:-))

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RE: why???

Where else can I go to see beautiful, friendly women get naked for little effort and even less money? Tell me and I'm there.....

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RE: why???

So many answers to that question...Many of the members here do not have an alternative. Some are married or in relationships but they are not getting attention or sexual stimulus...some are fat, old, ugly, sociopathic, losers, have bad breath, are bad dancers, are awkward around women, have body odor or have one or more of hundreds of reasons why they cannot meet real women. Some love the control....closet sadist or woman abusers. So many reasons....almost as many reason as a host gives for working here. Members and hosts are locked in a dance of money and sex.

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RE: why???

i'm here because i'm just a slut

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RE: why???

well....
contrary to an earlier post I made,
I will soon have to take a stiff drink
and leave the comforts of CC, to
encounter women in real life.
It will be brutal.
But if I manage to drag myself back,
I will recuperate here.
Oh and badASShost?
Could I pinch your ass before I go?

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topazsky

Pinch away my friend pinch away.....................

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RE: why???

well when i am offline and i ask a pretty lady to show me her boobs, they hit me. at CC i say that, she says.. ok hun.
offline i have to pay $100 to see a naked lady, here..$0.50 per minute.

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RE: why???

instant gratification and a very cost effective alternative to real life with a little humor and mental stimulation on the forums

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RE: why???

HUMMMMMMMMMMM, I love it when you shoot my balls :-)

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RE: why???

Fed up with stuck up uk girls.. Stupid Skanks..
And i LOVE girls from other countries :)

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2Buttocks

Think u shud take a look at your self b4 u label uk girls as skanks, if u love women from other countrys then do the uk a favour and move away, far far away. We do not need losers like you pollouting the english air. Or in reality is just that british women wudnt look twice at you as ur so god damn ugly dats why u cum ere to have a conversation with a woman and give ur c*ck its weekly outting!!

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The Prince Who Was Punished:-))

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter writing or sign language.)

One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speakingfor two whole years so that he could look at her and say "my darling". But at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her.

Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).But at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.

Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily, "My darling,I love you! Will you marry me?" And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said: "Please pardon",I did not hear what you said.
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RE: The Prince Who Was Punished:-))

ooh if only I could do that to some people! very good :-) xxx

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RE: do you say bye to a performer after a show?

Special
Just for you :)
I will come to your video
and say a very nice good bye
then leave :D

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RE: do you say bye to a performer after a show?

AaronaHot, we covered this topic not long ago. Some guests are assholes, and others, myself included, are Gentlemen.

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RE: do you say bye to a performer after a show?

you tell cc you want your money back ....

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RE: do you say bye to a performer after a show?

I always say goodbye

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RE: do you say bye to a performer after a show?

well i enter
she asks what i want to see
i ask to see her naked
then we chat
when my time is up
i ask to see her get dressed
then i say thx and bye

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RE: to johnz

yes most times i do, keep in mind ..not if she is wasting my time or when i get dc( which isnt often.)

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RE: "oh dear, I'm too shy, I never get undressed" or it's all lie?

I would probably feel my private naughty parts

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RE: "oh dear, I'm too shy, I never get undressed" or it's all lie?

personally, i assume that most of the girls in non-adult perform adult shows for some/most members in 121 and so it wouldn't be a great surprise to me. and there are certainly some non-adult girls who i would go to video with as soon as i saw they were in an adult category!

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RE: "oh dear, I'm too shy, I never get undressed" or it's all lie?

Most of them do move from non adult to adult at some point. there is better money in it.

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RE: "oh dear, I'm too shy, I never get undressed" or it's all lie?

I would be shocked. The vast majority of non-adult hosts do some level of adult behavior in one to one. There are exceptions but not many. And different members get different treatment. High rollers get treated better. It is the way of the world.

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RE: koshed37

don't be fooled babe, we only ever come to vid for tits and ass - if we say things like "it is nice to meet you" and "you're a nice person" or "you have captured my heart" (and just how gay is THAT!), we are lying to get your clothes off and get a look at your twat. sorry to break your bubble.

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RE:to BooBoo

DV is a good friend of mine too and what you said was a bit harsh. Some of us treat her like a friend and just talk to her. Maybe if you expect tits and ass then dont go to non adult for it.

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RE:to BooBoo

then they are idiots - if they are not here for tits, ass and twat, then they are probably gay

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RE:to BooBoo

Dont think I am gay, luvvy. But that is a sexy shirt u have on !

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RE:to BooBoo

hah, fooled you bendy-man, I ain't wearing one! Sure you might just talk to this DV, but I bet you get your jollies whackin' off to other hosts. If you don't, you are more pathetic than I thought. Guys who aren't here to see twat, are fuckin' twats themselves. This is a damn PORN site for the love of Christ - hosts in non-adult should make themselves a MySpace account so all their insipid "friends" can visit them there, and leave this site to the raunchy, skanky hoes as it should be!

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RE:to BooBoo

Well, so many words from you BoobBoob. I think you are some sort of PeeWee Herman. All words and no cock

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RE:to BooBoo

not quite, all words and some cock - not as big as yours though I am sure, right? So, I was right wasn't I - you hook up with other skanks in their vids so you can milk the spitting cobra (it gets me all tingly just thinking of you doing that!)

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RE:to BooBoo

You talking to yourself there Boob

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RE:to BooBoo

But you are right lol

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RE:to BooBoo

Seriously, I got girls in here who are friends and I have met in real life and others who I go to for stress relief eg play with my todger

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RE:to BooBoo

I hear you - have to admit that I do the same. But I'm always trying to get the ones who only "talk" to show me the goods - it's kinda like the quest for the Holy Grail - you know it's out there somewhere but fuck knows if you'll ever see it!

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RE:to BooBoo

You ever been to visit these girls in their own country BooBoo ? That is the next step and that is where the real meets the fantasy. If you havent, then you have to give it a go. You will be surprised at how nice some of the girls are.

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RE:to BooBoo

now that's some funny shit.

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RE: i will not be here for a week, go to granny

OMG i thougfht that that day will never come!!!!!!!!!! i am soo happy of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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vale steve irwin 1962-2006

on wildlife"i have no fear of losing my life-if if i have to save a koala or a crocodileor ar a kangaroo or a shark,mate i will save it."
on his catchcry"crikey means gee-whiz,wow!"
on his affinity with nature"snakes are just very instinctive to me.i've been playing with snakes since before i could walk.it doesn't matter where or what it is,from the biggest to the most venonmous."
on his first contact with a crocodile"the first crocodile i ever caught was at nine years of age & it was a rescue."
on his dangerous job"you know you can touch a stick of dynamite,but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around & bite you so fast its not even funny."
on his favourite animal"take the crocodile,for example,my favourite animal.there are 23 species.seventeen of those are rare or endangered.they're on the way out,no matter what anyone does."
on being afraid"i probably don't show fear,but i suffer from fear like everyone else."
on the animal kingdom"the only animals i'm not comfortable with are parrots,but i'm learning as i go.i'm getting better & better at 'em,i really am."
on his life"let's face it mate,i'm a conservationist & conservation's a very hard sell."
on hollywood"crikey mate.you're far safer dealing with crocodiles & western diamondback rattlesnakes than the executives & the producers & all those sharks at the MGM building."
on his heritage"i'm a proud australian,a very very proud australian."
on his attitude to life"i get called an adrenaline junkie every other minute & i'm just fine with that."
about his wedding day"i've been busted up,had cartilage operations,had my chest ripped to bits-blood & broken bones are no big deal.but the pain of standing there in a suit with a tie around my neck,i'll tell ya.i'd rather have a python around my neck."
of course for his honeymoon he embarked on a crocodile trapping trip into the Australian outback.
today wednesday september 6 2006 bob irwin,steve's father, declined the offer of a state funeral saying that his son would not want all the fuss as he was just an ordinary bloke.
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RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006

I liked him very much.

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RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006

Nice post , tisme.. I've met the man himself. nice bloke..May he rest in peace..

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RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006

thankyou for that.. I had been searching for Irwin quips yesterday but these are great.. and good on his dad for letting him be buried the way he would want. Although I have a couple of friends knew him.... they live about 30 miles from his Croc sancturary farm thing and met him through there. I doubt the Australian people are going to let the funeral pass by without some public displays of respect :-) might even take a moment myself. Miss NB xxx

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RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006

Crocs Rule!

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RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006

"i have no fear of losing my life-if if i have to save a koala or a crocodileor ar a kangaroo or a shark,mate i will save it."

i guess he was saving the stingray.

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to anonymous

what?

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RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006

give it a rest, skippy

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RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006

amen to that. and put it to rest.

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RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006

no thanks but your suggestion was read,considered then thrown with all the other useless anonymous garbage here. p.s what makes you think i'm a kangaroo?

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RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006

i don't know anything about the kangaroo remark, but having read some excellent advice about NOT responding to "smart asses" and their remarks.........I'll refrain from not responding any further........

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RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006

good boy..

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to useless anonymous

"i'll refrain from not respeonding any further".refrain means not do,so if you refrain from not responding then you will respond.grammar is like maths 2 negatives equal a positive. :-))))

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RE: vale steve irwin 1962-2006

Having given me a window of oppertunity here tis, I still believe that everyone knew what I was trying to say without having to say it 100% correctly. Have a good one......MrPerfect

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to useless anonymous

1)just because u make the assumption that everyone knew what you were trying to say is besides the point.its not a reason for ur slovenly use of grammar.u can do better & should always try to look listen & learn then you will grow & develop.
2)i donot think or claim to be perfect. coz that would make me a fool & i'm not a fool.as i like to learn from my errors i was hoping that you might also appreciate help
3)don't ever feel you need an"opening"to say anything to or about me.if you think it needs to be said"say it"don't hold it inside you.release it & it will grow or diminish on its veracity

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RE: to useless anonymous

as the very good anonymous who posted about you earlier said, since you are a smart ass, a smart ass doesn't deserve a response back, because it only eggs him on to provoke another response, and that's how you people keep your ridiculous arguements going on in here. It's like a tennis match, only played with grammar instead of a ball. so i'll let someone else start hitting your balls back to you, that's why i said earler, i'll refrain from future remarks. This is CamContacts, not Cambridge University!

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RE: can you make a man cum by massage??

i've never had this, but i've heard ot it. I think its called Thai Body Massage

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RE: can you make a man cum by massage??

MAssage of what?

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RE: can you make a man cum by massage??

Yes you can. Some women can make you cum without even touching you.....

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RE: can you make a man cum by massage??

thats not a question..... that just a fact ... you rub up any guy naked with your hole body... he they will cum ..... but have had it done and it os quiet mmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Wrestling Match

A RUSSIAN AND A REDNECK WRESTLER WERE SET TO SQUARE OFF FOR THE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL.

BEFORE THE FINAL MATCH, THE REDNECK WRESTLER'S TRAINER CAME TO HIM AND SAID, "NOW, DON'T FORGET ALL THE RESEARCH WE'VE DONE ON THIS RUSSIAN. HE'S NEVER LOST A MATCH BECAUSE OF THIS 'PRETZEL' HOLD HE HAS.

WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT LET HIM GET YOU IN THAT HOLD! IF HE DOES, YOU'RE FINISHED"; THE REDNECK NODDED IN ACKNOWLEDGMENT.

AS THE MATCH STARTED, THE REDNECK AND THE RUSSIAN CIRCLED EACH OTHER SEVERAL TIMES, LOOKING FOR AN OPENING.

ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE RUSSIAN LUNGED FORWARD, GRABBING THE REDNECK AND WRAPPING HIM UP IN THE DREADED PRETZEL
HOLD. A SIGH OF DISAPPOINTMENT AROSE FROM THE CROWD AND THE TRAINER BURIED HIS FACE IN HIS HANDS, FOR HE KNEW ALL WAS! LOST. HE COULDN'T WATCH THE INEVITABLE HAPPEN.

SUDDENLY, THERE WAS A SCREAM, THEN A CHEER FROM THE CROWD AND THE TRAINER RAISED HIS EYES JUST IN

TIME TO WATCH THE RUSSIAN GO FLYING UP IN THE AIR. HIS BACK HIT THE MAT WITH A THUD AND THE REDNECK COLLAPSED ON TOP OF HIM MAKING THE PIN AND WINNING THE MATCH.

THE TRAINER WAS ASTOUNDED. WHEN HE FINALLY GOT HIS WRESTLER ALONE, HE ASKED, "HOW DID YOU EVER GET OUT OF THAT HOLD? NO ONE HAS EVER DONE IT BEFORE!"

THE WRESTLER ANSWERED "WELL, I WAS READY TO GIVE UP WHEN HE GOT ME IN THAT HOLD BUT AT THE LAST MOMENT, I OPENED MY EYES AND SAW THIS PAIR OF TESTICLES RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. I HAD NOTHING TO LOSE SO WITH MY LAST OUNCE OF STRENGTH I STRETCHED OUT MY NECK AND BIT THOSE BABIES JUST AS HARD AS I COULD."

SO THE TRAINER EXCLAIMED, "SO, THAT'S WHAT FINISHED HIM OFF!!"

"NOT REALLY. YOU'D BE AMAZED HOW STRONG YOU GET WHEN YOU BITE YOUR OWN NUTS!"



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RE: Wrestling Match

lmao!..but why did you have to yell it?

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RE: Wrestling Match

Is this a true story? If it is he's gonna need a band-aid and a lot of pain killers

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RE: THE VENTRILOQUIST

I am also blond and uhhhhhhhhhhh,
Wait, what was I going to say????
nevermind

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Riddle

there r 4 aswers to this riddle....

What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING? :-/



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RE: Riddle

A very embarrassed
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer,
with a broken Christmas bell? ;)

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RE: Riddle

lol...very funny, but not exactly :P

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RE: Riddle

Snow White's Cherry with the first 3 of the seven dwarfs?

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RE: Riddle

Red Riding Hoods face hitting a bell as I take her from behind? :D

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RE: Riddle

you've got a fixation on that chick haven't you?

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RE: Riddle

Not really, she asks for it all the time. :D

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RE: Riddle

and then you make her squeal like a little pig ... oh wait, that's a different story!

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RE: Riddle

Yeah different story, lol but she still squeals lol

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RE: Riddle

a bike with a bell?

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RE: Riddle

cute replies, guys :D...i want more :P

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RE: Riddle

What's Red and goes Tring, Tring, Tring?

The telephone at the Communist Party Head Quarters!

A sunburnt blonde who got confused about 'a handy lunch pack'!

A traditional phonebox in the middle of London!

The MD of Nokia when he gets really angry!

His wife trying out the latest waterproof Nokia phone!

A red bell!

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RE: Riddle

Nadeen's clit and four clit rings when she says to her bf "right a hair...left a hair.....the ring the ring the ring .........."

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RE: Riddle

do i have enemies here?...why do u piss me off, anonymous? ...do u want me to shut up or what?

the only reason i keep posting here is to have fun and to share good things with cc-community...have i ever posted here any BS or offensive things?

tell me your problem, maybe u have some clit's rings without any idea how and with whom to use them?

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RE: Riddle

tut tut my sweet.....you know there are perv and those of lessor minds here? Best to ignore posts from less than the master race............

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ANSWERS

ok...i think it's a time for answer now...as i said there r 4 answers to the riddle:

1. a tomato...and the TRING TRING TRING was to confuse u :P

2. the door bell and the RED was to confuse u :P

3. a cake...and both were to confuse u :D

4. a fire brigade...why r u confused? ;)

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RE: ANSWERS

Nadeen, I do not submit to your mastery? , Mistressery?, lol, heck I don't know, but if you were not so beautiful in that Kate Beckinsale way , with the "Van Helsing", "UnderWorld: Evolution" Look going on, I would have been disappointed in your 4 answers, but since you are the way you are, Keep telling Riddles, I'll keep on coming!

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RE: ANSWERS

You tickle me Nadeen :D :P
oops! Now you know I am ticklish ;)

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RE: ANSWERS

what gay fire brigade have you been listening to?? And FYI, cakes ARE red and they DO make that sound.

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RE: ANSWERS

booboo, would it be too gay of me to say that you're quickly becoming my hero on these forums?

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RE: ANSWERS

yes, that would be too gay - but some days I wake up and I crave some rear door action, and today just happens to be one of those days, so I now have a horrendously big boner thanks to you :)

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RE: ANSWERS

BooBoo usually makes a BooBoo........... roflmao

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RE: ANSWERS

gee, I'm glad you found something to laugh at.

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RE: ANSWERS

lol....i'm both honored and scared shitless.
...all i have to say is keep it up, man. :)

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RE: ANSWERS

I shall do that :-) Actually, having the recipient scared shitless is a bonus - don't really like getting poo on my pole, if you know what I mean - and makes the whole ass-to-mouth thing which comes later, a bit of a gag-fest.

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RE: ANSWERS

I guess I didn't win anything then!

Disappointed. What's the next riddle???

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RE: ANSWERS

Have i promised a prize? :P

yes...i know, i am cruel sometimes :D

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85 yo male exam

As part of his yearly physical exam, the doctor requested a sperm count
from his 85-year-old male patient. The doctor gave the man a jar and said,
"Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave
him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The
doctor asked what happened.

The man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right
hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her
left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
then with her teeth out, still nothing.

We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too. First with
both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her
knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep. None of us could get the jar open".
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RE: 85 yo male exam

Funny, but why would an 85 year old need a sperm count?

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Zoo:-))

Two camels (a mother and a baby) were lazing around, when suddenly baby camel said.

Baby: "mother, mother, can I ask you some question?"

Mother: "sure! why son, is there something bothering you?"

Baby: "why do camel have humps?"

Mother: "well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store water and we are known to survive without water."

Baby: "okay, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded."

"Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert. You know with these legs I can move around the desert better than anyone",said the mother proudly.

Baby: "okay, said baby camel. "then why are our eye lashes long? Sometimes it is bothering my sight." said baby camel.

Mother: "my son, those long thick eye lashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind." Said mother camel with eyes brimming with pride.

Baby: "I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eye lashes protects my eyes from the desert. Then what the hell are we doing here in a zoo???
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RE: Zoo:-))

hahaha good ones Alex :D

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RE: Zoo:-))

heheheehheehhehehehehehehehheehhehehehehheheehhhehehe

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The Prostitute Parrot:-))

A posh lady bought a parrot for some company.

Unfortunately, the parrot would only say "My name is Mary & I'm a whore".

She could not get the parrot to say anything else and it kept saying the same thing, usually at the most inopportune moments, much to the lady's embarrassment. One day the parish Priest visited the lady and while he was there the parrot squawked out the only words it would say. After apologizing profusely to the Priest, the lady explained that the parrot resisted all efforts at reformation. The Priest offered to take the parrot to visit the two parrots he owned. His parrots were well trained and all they would say were Hail Marys while clutching rosaries in their claws. He was certain they would be a good influence on the lady's parrot.

So the Priest took the parrot to his house and put it in the cage with his parrots. The first words out of the lady's parrot were, "My name is Mary & I'm a whore".

The priest, being most anxious to see what would happen was flabbergasted when one of his parrots said to the other, "Throw that damn rosary away, our prayers have been answered!"
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