General Forum

John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonising the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."

"He's an asshole," John said. "Piss on him."

"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday.

n/a

whether your Russian, Romanian, Filipina, Chinese, Czech, South african or south american, or USA or Candaian, think about this:
The morning starts with his kiss while you are half asleep still, you dreamily hear the shower running as he prepares for work, then you smell the scent of coffee brewing, ( substitute your favorite morning drink here), you wake from bed and follw the rich smell of the mornings brew to find your man on the east facing porch of your dwelling, the sun is just peaking up over the horizon, he has already poured your cup of breakfast drink, prepared how you like it, you both share the drink and sunrise, mostly in silence but with short loving looks over the rim of your cups at each other. He rises from the table, leans down to give you the second kiss of the day, and whispers, I love you, as he goes off to his work.

what lady from what country would not like this, what man from what country would not love to experience this? We are all not so different

I'm sorry .. but i just have to let you guys know how much fun this is to read all your messages in here .. gives me hours of enterainment. The silly things you guys discuss here are very amusing and some comments i've laughed very hard over.

Well that's all i had to say
Keep the good work up guys ! :D

Leoric

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im not alone here guys a su do write i got this siteinto commercial thing, heres few girls too, who are bitches as me, but we are realists and we dont lie (against others here),,,for exmaple, NaughtyCaren, check her out:))
always urs..airin

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i seen a girl the other day with the G-unit thong on! The "G" was in the crack of her ass.... I walk up to her and say: Girl you better get upstairs and wash your ass!

Do you wax .........or...........shave your pussy?.................and what is a Brazilian wax?

tokoyo, japan--anyone been there

verona, italy-has anyone been there before

i seen a girl the other day with the G-unit thong on! The "G" was in the crack of her ass.... I walk up to her and say: Girl you better get upstairs and wash your ass!

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hmm--i was thinking about what this woman name Beauty Mariya ask the forum here to think about your craziest dream---so i started think about mine- i was working at a restaurant as a waiter and this man and his wife came in to eat,, i mean this woman was so beautiful, sexy and perfect in all the ways you can imagine, well i couldnt keep my eyes off her and all the sudden her husband had to go to the bathroom and make a call outside, so as i approach this lady with their meal, i drop a fork on the floor and it went under the table, as i went under the table to fetch it back, i notice this woman wasnt wearing any panties, and she began to spread her legs, mmmm, what a beautiful site it was,, and now i was so horny i went up to her pussy and started to lick it and suck her clit (and oh yes she had a clit ring) than all the suddenly her husband sitted back at the table--i said oh fuck im a dead man now,, so as i thought this i said to myself, what the fuck, if im going to die, i might as well die a happy man with a woman of my dream, so i began to lick her pussy again and while i was sucking on her clit,, she squirted cum all in my mouth and i shouted out OHHHHHHHHHH YESSSS,, and than opps the table cloth rasied and her husband said to me your a dead man--and than i woke up from this craziest dream---mmm glad i didnt seen what happened after that---im still alive.
Sinful Obesssion--after another man's wife.

ok..well..just wanna let u all know..im building up the confidence to shave my balls...anyone got the lotion to stop the blood???

Two blondes in Amsterdam are riding their bikes down an old fashioned street.

"I've never come this way", says one.

"It's the cobblestones!"

Hi Mishell ... did DTA alis Jeff leave ypu ????? Pitty for you !!!

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.

"Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes, I do" she replies. The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily.

"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car"

"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued.. "Do you remember ! when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released today".

Wife : #@%*&@%#!!!

Three couples got married and spent their honeymoons at the same hotel, where they were all attended to by Jeff the Bellboy.

The first man married a nurse.

Jeff showed them to their room, all the while thinking to himself, "Lucky guy! Nurses are known to be hot to trot."

The second man married a telephone operator.

Jeff showed them to their room, while thinking to himself, "Wow, he's one lucky dude. Telephone operators have such sexy voices and once you pop that top button.. Va-voom."

The third man married a school teacher.

Jeff showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor sap. She may be pretty, but teachers are way too frigid."

At 5:30 the following morning, Jeff reported to work. He expected the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute, but was sure the other two wouldn't call until much later in the day.

The phone rang at 6 a.m. and it was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. Jeff took breakfast up to the room and when the husband opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man's pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.

"Sir, what happened?" asked Jeff. "You married a nurse."

"Son, don't ever marry a nurse," the man sourly replied. "All I heard last night was her nagging voice saying, 'You're not sanitary, you're not sanitary'."

The phone rang again at 6:30 a.m. and this time it was the telephone operator's husband calling for breakfast. Jeff took it to the room as quickly as possible. When the man opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man's hair was neatly combed and his pajamas nicely pressed.

"What happened?" Jeff asked with surprise. "Telephone operators as supposed to be as sexy as their voices."

"Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator," the man groaned. "All I heard last night was her nasal voice saying, 'Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up'."

Jeff returned to his desk, sure that the teacher's husband would be calling at any moment.

Finally, at 4 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.

Jeff couldn't believe it, but quickly took the breakfast to the couple's room. When the man opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man was wearing only a pair of boxers, his hair was a mess, and there were scratches all over his chest, arms and legs.

"My goodness sir, what happened to you?" Jeff asked, fearing the worst. "Did you have a fight?"

The man, grinning from ear to ear, happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry be sure it's to a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy, smooth voice saying, 'We're going to do this over, and over, and over again, until we get it right'."

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Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: Two Prostitutes -- $50.00."

A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.

Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying:
"JESUS SAVES."

One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop them?! "Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled . "Their sign pertains to religion."

So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following night found the same police officer was
in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again.

Figuring he had an easy arrest, he began to catch up with them
when he noticed the new sign which now read: "Two Fallen Angels
Seeking Peter -- $50.00."

pain in my chest grows everyday but still no closer to death, someday i wait for it like a bus but always running late my life if full of jokes and fears, with happines forever never coming near, yet i wait and wait for years , cuz damn it one day that bus is going to apair

just wanna let u all know that i have now found my inner peace...u can too..the way to do this is 2 finish all the things u started...i looked around this morning to c all the things i have started..so i finished the baileys some red wine and the valium and u have no fuckin idea how good i feel :D

You Alone
==========

Whoever you are, there is some younger person who thinks you are
perfect.

There is some work that will never be done if you don't do it.

There is someone who would miss you if you were gone.

There is a place that you alone can fill."

~Jacob M. Braude~