General Forum
RE: coming soon
I'm sure that's because you're wonderful and he loves you lots :)
I must admit my answer was more to do with what I would want for a present rather than your bf :P
I must admit my answer was more to do with what I would want for a present rather than your bf :P
RE: coming soon
If you want help getting over that phobia I am always available to assist you in losing your shyness :)
RE: coming soon
ok no bubble baths for you :P
clothes or a watch are good idea though. if he wears watches, that would be a good one... because he would see it everyday and be reminded each time not only of the time, but of your love for him :)
or how about a nice photo of you in a beautiful frame? he is sure not to throw that away!
and for the record... dont be afraid to give gifts... if someone throws it away, they do not deserve your kindness or friendship for sure! dam fools :))
clothes or a watch are good idea though. if he wears watches, that would be a good one... because he would see it everyday and be reminded each time not only of the time, but of your love for him :)
or how about a nice photo of you in a beautiful frame? he is sure not to throw that away!
and for the record... dont be afraid to give gifts... if someone throws it away, they do not deserve your kindness or friendship for sure! dam fools :))
RE: coming soon
you make me curious to know who you are... no bad reason .... you just seem to be someone that would be nice to talk with
and who i am.... i am ME :)
and who i am.... i am ME :)
RE: coming soon
I can understand very well what you mean… and it is a shame that some would do this. So, it is nice to meet you ME :) I hope no one here will make you sad… enjoy your sleep, have good reams and you don’t need to be sorry, I can understand all to well what you said. Cheers nice person :)
It's Official
I will not visit or engage in video with any girl charging more than $2.00 either in in open or 1-2-1
I refuse to pay more than $2.00 Many hosts are increasing their prices as crazy from $3.00 in open session to $5.00 in 1-2-1 Then they don't perform in open vid. Members please don't let these crazy girls stick their hands in your pocket and rob your wallet!
I refuse to pay more than $2.00 Many hosts are increasing their prices as crazy from $3.00 in open session to $5.00 in 1-2-1 Then they don't perform in open vid. Members please don't let these crazy girls stick their hands in your pocket and rob your wallet!
RE: It's Official
There always will be those members who dont care about money...and expensive hosts dont spend too much time on video, just bcoz they either work on other sites or do some other work, and this is their choice. Everybody choose the rate which is THE BEST just for her. Your appeal wont help anyway.
RE: It's Official
Thats why I see the girls that charge more than $2.00 always so busy. Yeah Right!
RE: It's Official
make me sick. why complain about their price? why not just find someone in your price range? why do some members feel the need to try to educate or run these girls business for them?
RE: It's Official
I have never understood the complaint either. It's like complaining about the price of a Ferrari, diamonds, a meal at Taillevent, etc. If you can't afford it, just accept it and buy what you can afford. Others can; don't tell others how to run their business, or spend their money.
RE: It's Official
your comment is rather dumb. there are no ferraris or porsches in here, only girls and there is no better than other. most girls here are in the same range of age and body. most are very nice looking, only issue is that some have balloon heads and think they are worth more and charge an arm and a leg, while others are with their feet on earth. I am for one that will not pay high rates becuase I stay hours in video. Now i understand you, if you only go to a host for a 3 minute wank, thats you not me...
RE: It's Official
huh.. ya know, i know only one person who could buy a ferrari and people wouldn't think he was just a dingus looking to buy himself into a higher social bracket... and that guy's the cheapest mofo i happen to know too.
crazy.
crazy.
RE: It's Official
Here's two cents of free advice..how do rich people get rich? by saving money not spending it.
RE: It's Official
inheritance,theft,graft,murder,invention,investment plus numerous other ways.saving is only a small percentage,i think but then again it also depends on what you consider rich :--))
RE: It's Official
<<there are no ferraris or porsches in here, only girls and there is no better than other. most girls here are in the same range of age and body. most are very nice looking>>
I am sure you would be challenged on that statement.
<<only issue is that some have balloon heads and think they are worth more and charge an arm and a leg, while others are with their feet on earth.>>
What the heck is wrong with thinking you're worth something?
<<I am for one that will not pay high rates becuase I stay hours in video. Now i understand you, if you only go to a host for a 3 minute wank, thats you not me...>>
And you would be wrong. I don't visit host who charge $2.00 or more, because I can't afford it. But I don't care if they do, nor do I care if some guys pay those rates. That's their business, and me complaining about it is stupid.
I am sure you would be challenged on that statement.
<<only issue is that some have balloon heads and think they are worth more and charge an arm and a leg, while others are with their feet on earth.>>
What the heck is wrong with thinking you're worth something?
<<I am for one that will not pay high rates becuase I stay hours in video. Now i understand you, if you only go to a host for a 3 minute wank, thats you not me...>>
And you would be wrong. I don't visit host who charge $2.00 or more, because I can't afford it. But I don't care if they do, nor do I care if some guys pay those rates. That's their business, and me complaining about it is stupid.
RE: It's Official
If "complaining about it is stupid", what about complaining about the complainer?
All you can eat for $ 1
For one buck you may play as tough as you can with SecretRevery.
Docile and obedient !!!
Docile and obedient !!!
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
My upper limit has almost always been .99 cents and I have seen hundreds of great looking girls giving hot videos for a couple of years now at those prices. For you guys who have money to burn God bless you. Knock yourself out spending a lot of money. You say that high priced girls are busy. Not in my experience. I have seen some girls who looked great but their price was high. I try and negotiate a lower price. Most tell me to go pound sand. But I keep the window open with them sometimes. No videos for them. They are sitting there (at least in CC) twiddling their thumbs or twiddling something. Some hosts will lower their prices for a video. I call them smart and successful.
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
<<They are sitting there (at least in CC) twiddling their thumbs or twiddling something. Some hosts will lower their prices for a video. I call them smart and successful.>>
I love how you guys put all the pegs in the same hole. Has it occurred to you that not all hosts want the same thing from working here? Just because a host charges a lot, and won't negotiate a lower rate does not make her unsuccessful, or a bubblehead. You have ZERO idea what she makes, or why she is here... so making judgements without facts is ridiculous.
I love how you guys put all the pegs in the same hole. Has it occurred to you that not all hosts want the same thing from working here? Just because a host charges a lot, and won't negotiate a lower rate does not make her unsuccessful, or a bubblehead. You have ZERO idea what she makes, or why she is here... so making judgements without facts is ridiculous.
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
<<< You have ZERO idea what she makes, or why she is here... so making judgements without facts is ridiculous.>>>
We all know that almost or probably more than a 95% of hosts here work for a studio and if the host is lucky she'll take an ultra low 25% of what we pull out of our pockets. It's a system and we can't do nothing in respect, however this is not the issue here. The main issue is that some hosts want to make this up to themselves by charging us double or triple and thats exactly our concerns and we can't let this become acceptable. I am sorry for the girls, but I can't just pay $100.00 a session to just leave the girl a $25.00 cut. Something, somewhere must be done, but its not us that should make this fair by leaving all our money here.
We all know that almost or probably more than a 95% of hosts here work for a studio and if the host is lucky she'll take an ultra low 25% of what we pull out of our pockets. It's a system and we can't do nothing in respect, however this is not the issue here. The main issue is that some hosts want to make this up to themselves by charging us double or triple and thats exactly our concerns and we can't let this become acceptable. I am sorry for the girls, but I can't just pay $100.00 a session to just leave the girl a $25.00 cut. Something, somewhere must be done, but its not us that should make this fair by leaving all our money here.
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
<<The main issue is that some hosts want to make this up to themselves by charging us double or triple and thats exactly our concerns and we can't let this become acceptable.>>
We? You're speaking for me now?
They aren't charging you anything, because you're not visiting them! There are hundreds of inexpensive hosts to visit... more than your bank account can handle, and you continue to complain about the handful that charge more. You make ZERO sense.
We? You're speaking for me now?
They aren't charging you anything, because you're not visiting them! There are hundreds of inexpensive hosts to visit... more than your bank account can handle, and you continue to complain about the handful that charge more. You make ZERO sense.
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
<<<They aren't charging you anything, because you're not visiting them! There are hundreds of inexpensive hosts to visit... >>>
What? Inexpensive chathosts dont charge either? Give me a break! The one that doesn't make sense is not me!!! LOL!
What? Inexpensive chathosts dont charge either? Give me a break! The one that doesn't make sense is not me!!! LOL!
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
he said you are a cheap arse who does not visit any hosts, so does not matter what they charge because you do not spend 1 cent with any of them
Got it? if not i can explain it different for you :P
Got it? if not i can explain it different for you :P
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
MasterTech said it right. Spend all your money on the hosts and don't be a cheap ass. Mate, many members here are cheap asses!
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
<<What? Inexpensive chathosts dont charge either? Give me a break! The one that doesn't make sense is not me!>>
Since you aren't entering the video of expensive hosts, you aren't being charged, because you haven't bought anything!
It's like you're complaining about the price of groceries at the 7-11. No one is holding a gun to your head, forcing you to buy bread for $3.00 there... you are free to go to the supermarket and buy bread for $1.00. Stop complaining about 7-11; it's pointless. Got it?
Since you aren't entering the video of expensive hosts, you aren't being charged, because you haven't bought anything!
It's like you're complaining about the price of groceries at the 7-11. No one is holding a gun to your head, forcing you to buy bread for $3.00 there... you are free to go to the supermarket and buy bread for $1.00. Stop complaining about 7-11; it's pointless. Got it?
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
must be a yank MaterTech ... you are right... better to go to Pathmark then 7-11 much cheaper there :P
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
Well, you seem intellignet enough, you don't to see the irony of complaining about people who complain?
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
I Rony,
I'm sure Master Tech does not need my defense. I'm also sure the irony is not lost on him. However, before patronizing him about his intelligence and his presumed failure to see what you believe to be true, you might ask yourself if his complaint is of the same nature as A Member. You may be surprised to discover a greater irony at hand.
To simply equate one complaint with another without considering the substance and legitimacy of each complaint is a flawed and hollow argument that could be carried on without end and to no purpose. I could say you are complaining about one complaining about another complaining. The charge is then extended to me, ad infinitum, as if we are in a hall of mirrors looking at an infinite regress of the same image.
I'm neither defending nor condemning Master Tech's position on "a tired one's" post, but he has made an argument about it, whereas you seem to think that because he has also tendered a complaint, that somehow nullifies his argument. If you don't agree with the substance of his argument, offer a reasoned refutation. Your observation is not only flawed, it is at best tangential to the heart of the matter.
I'm sure Master Tech does not need my defense. I'm also sure the irony is not lost on him. However, before patronizing him about his intelligence and his presumed failure to see what you believe to be true, you might ask yourself if his complaint is of the same nature as A Member. You may be surprised to discover a greater irony at hand.
To simply equate one complaint with another without considering the substance and legitimacy of each complaint is a flawed and hollow argument that could be carried on without end and to no purpose. I could say you are complaining about one complaining about another complaining. The charge is then extended to me, ad infinitum, as if we are in a hall of mirrors looking at an infinite regress of the same image.
I'm neither defending nor condemning Master Tech's position on "a tired one's" post, but he has made an argument about it, whereas you seem to think that because he has also tendered a complaint, that somehow nullifies his argument. If you don't agree with the substance of his argument, offer a reasoned refutation. Your observation is not only flawed, it is at best tangential to the heart of the matter.
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
attempting to educate & explain your point of view isn't complaining in my opinion I Rony :--))
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
Using that that train of thought maybe the original poster was trying to educate or explain his point of view also.
Some people see it as complaining others see it as explaining their point of view.
Cheers
Some people see it as complaining others see it as explaining their point of view.
Cheers
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
no CS its you.if they are inexpensive all your previous comments don't matter.unless of course you want the inexpensive hosts to lower their prices more :--))
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
the key word is studio,i think.maybe hosts don't always have a say in their price. :--))
RE: All you can eat for $ 1
So, Cheapskate, $0.99, huh? Not a penny more? None of those $1.00 girls?
On a serious note, it's your choice to set your upper limit, but I wouldn't be so quick to congratulate yourself for economic wisdom, while chiding others for what you apparently think is foolishness. Okay, so your negotiations for a price reduction sometimes succeed. Good for you. But don't think you are not "burning" money too. That you may spend it a lesser rate makes you no less a fool than the rest of us here. And it would not be hard to make a convincing argument that ANY money spent here is foolishly spent. And as to your assertion that girls who acquiesce to your low-balling are "smart and successful," I will grant they were smart enough to cause you to part with some of your money. They can appreciate the concept of a half loaf being better than none, and getting half your money rather than none at all. And in fairness it must be said that the two of you arrived at this agreement as free agents. Going further, I don't think anyone here would dispute that it is wiser to pay $0.99 for something than $2.99 if the two things are of equal value. However, you would do well to see that there is also folly in your wisdom.
On a serious note, it's your choice to set your upper limit, but I wouldn't be so quick to congratulate yourself for economic wisdom, while chiding others for what you apparently think is foolishness. Okay, so your negotiations for a price reduction sometimes succeed. Good for you. But don't think you are not "burning" money too. That you may spend it a lesser rate makes you no less a fool than the rest of us here. And it would not be hard to make a convincing argument that ANY money spent here is foolishly spent. And as to your assertion that girls who acquiesce to your low-balling are "smart and successful," I will grant they were smart enough to cause you to part with some of your money. They can appreciate the concept of a half loaf being better than none, and getting half your money rather than none at all. And in fairness it must be said that the two of you arrived at this agreement as free agents. Going further, I don't think anyone here would dispute that it is wiser to pay $0.99 for something than $2.99 if the two things are of equal value. However, you would do well to see that there is also folly in your wisdom.
RE: It's Official
Member, Hey, it's your choice to do so, but why the need to make a formal declaration? Judging by the comments below, your fellow members have hardly given you a "Right on Brother" endorsement.
I do find it interesting to observe how some girls, who are quite ordinary at best, seem to overvalue their worth, while others, some of whom are remarkably attractive and charming, seem to undervalue theirs. (And sometimes the local studio bosses are dictating the price, even though that is expressly against CC's official policy) In the end, the market determines the price. Some girls try to see what the market will bear. That's their prerogative, just as it is yours to not patronize them.
Your declaration is duly noted, as is the apparent lack of interest it inspires. Go forth now young man and spend your money as you like and do not petition this Forum again concerning this matter.
I do find it interesting to observe how some girls, who are quite ordinary at best, seem to overvalue their worth, while others, some of whom are remarkably attractive and charming, seem to undervalue theirs. (And sometimes the local studio bosses are dictating the price, even though that is expressly against CC's official policy) In the end, the market determines the price. Some girls try to see what the market will bear. That's their prerogative, just as it is yours to not patronize them.
Your declaration is duly noted, as is the apparent lack of interest it inspires. Go forth now young man and spend your money as you like and do not petition this Forum again concerning this matter.
RE: It's Official
never judge the book by the cover.once you open it you might find the story captivates you :--))
RE: It's Official
True enough, but how many more unseen charms and virtues could a $5.00-per-minute host possess than her $0.50 conterpart, all other outward appearances being equal?
RE: It's Official
Personally, I'll never visit a host who chrages less than $5 a minute.
It's all about self-worth. If she doesn't see herself as the best and charge accordingly, why would I waste my time with her?
It's all about self-worth. If she doesn't see herself as the best and charge accordingly, why would I waste my time with her?
RE: It's Official
Lol! You tell'em Mcmoneypants! (great name, btw) And just think of the additional contribution you are making to the "self esteem" of the women who live under depressed economic conditions. I'm sure that formidable promoter of "self esteem", Dove soap, would be glad to hear how you are doing much to help with their "Campaign for Real Beauty." (No shit, check it out:campaignforrealbeauty.com. Modern snake oil at its best!)
And, hey, why use such an arbitrarily low figure like $5.00? Surely there are girls here who want to aim for the stars. They might not succeed, but why not try? What harm could come of it? As someone said of Werner von Braun: "Werner von Braun aimed for the stars, but occasionally hit London."
And, hey, why use such an arbitrarily low figure like $5.00? Surely there are girls here who want to aim for the stars. They might not succeed, but why not try? What harm could come of it? As someone said of Werner von Braun: "Werner von Braun aimed for the stars, but occasionally hit London."
RE: It's Official
All those who say that the original poster was telling the hosts how to run their business should read it again. He was advising the MEMBERS to not visit them, in hopes of discouraging high prices. Host's power = to charge what they like. Member's power = to visit who we like. Raw capitalism in action. From what I've heard (from hosts), hosts can make money with low prices or high, it just depends on what's right for them. But my impression is that the highest earning hosts charge more per minute. Not ridiculously more, but not 0.75 either.
RE: It's Official
It sounds obvious that the hottest hosts would make the most, but I don't think it's true. The hosts I know best have influenced their income a LOT (by as much as 5x) by decisions they made: how much to charge, what to say and do in chat, better costumes, cams and lighting and so on. And they didn't even work scams.
RE: It's Official
I agree A-99. Sure, the host's attractiveness is a big factor, but it's not the only factor and in the end looks alone will not sustain guests' interest. Therefore the host with nothing to offer but good looks will not develop a regular clientele. By comparison, a girl with average looks, but who is also charming, graceful, witty, engaging, intelligent and generally good natured, will always be more successful than the "hottie" who has no other asset but her physical beauty.
RE: they say....
O_O_, "Above the sky?" You are joking, right? Surely you don't mean a bearded patriarch who resides somewhere above the clouds? Can you elaborate on your answer to Fluffy's question?
RE: they say....
DB, I too believe in God, but I do not agree that we HAVE to believe in Him. Is it the Psalmist who writes, "The fool sayeth in his heart, there is no God." Perhaps. My question to OlgaOlga was not so much whether she believed in God, but what her conception of God is. I believe that IF God exists he MUST exist WITHIN us, not up in the sky like some picture in a child's storybook. The person who looks for God outside himself will only find Him if he sees Him reside WITHIN another and understands that God also resides in him
RE: they say....
Lol! No I'm not one of them. I'm sure they are not talking about this stuff. They're exploring their dark side here--probably pulling their pud and talking nasty to some lascivious lady. But if they are caught they will no doubt have a pretext for being here, like the bishop from France whom I read about years ago. It seems that His Excellency had a fatal heart attack while visiting a bordello. When the matter was made public, the Vatican's official comment was that he had gone there to hear confessions!! Lol! Confiteor Deo....
RE: they say....
I believe that God exists and i agree he exists within us. There is one parable i like:
One man died and his soul went to Heaven to the beautiful paradise. He restsed there for some while, enjoyed, explored new things, but he noticed there were no God there. He asks an angel: where is God? And the angel replies him: I cant tell u that, u can find him only living your earth life, and if u still want to meet him, go to the earth again, maybe this time u will find him :)
One man died and his soul went to Heaven to the beautiful paradise. He restsed there for some while, enjoyed, explored new things, but he noticed there were no God there. He asks an angel: where is God? And the angel replies him: I cant tell u that, u can find him only living your earth life, and if u still want to meet him, go to the earth again, maybe this time u will find him :)
RE: they say....
I like that story, take care. It somewhat reminds me of a Tolstoy short story, which in English is translated as, "What Men Live By." Do you know it? If not, check it out.
RE: they say....
Reminds me of the Eastern European writer (whose name escapes me at the moment) who died of cancer some years ago. On his death bed he wryly observed, "I always knew everyone must die, but I thought in my case an exception would be made." :)
RE: they say....
It's like the wisecrack I heard someone make in response to someone who said, "Jesus loves me. I know he does." The wisecraker responded, "Yeah, but he never calls!"
But I like OlgaOlga's original post with its image of God laughing, which we don't really see in the Judeo-Christian tradition. By comparison there is the wonderful image of the "laughing Buddha" in Buddhism. One argument for God having a sense of humor is that he made us! At least he is merciful---or so we hope and pray---after playing this cruel joke!!
But I like OlgaOlga's original post with its image of God laughing, which we don't really see in the Judeo-Christian tradition. By comparison there is the wonderful image of the "laughing Buddha" in Buddhism. One argument for God having a sense of humor is that he made us! At least he is merciful---or so we hope and pray---after playing this cruel joke!!
RE: they say....
I agree---especially with your observation about people who come to believe in times of trouble. That's why they say, "There are no atheists in foxholes."
RE: they say....
everyone will come to God sooner or later, it is just a matter of time. Either here on Earth or when they stand before the gates of Heaven everyone will come to him. :) He will also forgive those who choose to ignore him here on Earth... he is all forgiving :)
RE: they say....
No He's not. He's a vengeful God.
If you don't read His book and followed His rules, you're eternally screwed.
If you don't read His book and followed His rules, you're eternally screwed.
RE: they say....
in the old book he is a vengeful God, but in the new testament he is a loving God. Through his Son, Jesus we will all be saved… even you :)
RE: they say....
he sees you all the time, I know sometimes it might not feel that way, but he does watch over you.
Sometimes he is just quiet, lets us make our mistakes... but he is never away from us
Sometimes he is just quiet, lets us make our mistakes... but he is never away from us
RE: New name
MB, Can't say I knew you under the old name. I assume, however, this brand new you is a "new and improved" version of your old persona. No disrespect intended, but your post reminded me of a joke Stripperella posted on her personal Forum page some months ago. I copied it from her Forum. Here it is:
A woman went into a pet store, saw a parrot, and asked to buy
it. The man at the counter said, "I don't think you want that
one, it used to live in a whore house." The woman replied, "I
don't care I'll take it." She brought the parrot home and the
parrot said, "New house, new master."
The woman's daughter came home and the woman said, "I got us a
parrot." The parrot said, "New house, new master, new whores."
The woman's husband came home and the woman said, "Honey I got
us a parrot." The parrot said, "New house, new master, new
whores, HI George!!!"
A woman went into a pet store, saw a parrot, and asked to buy
it. The man at the counter said, "I don't think you want that
one, it used to live in a whore house." The woman replied, "I
don't care I'll take it." She brought the parrot home and the
parrot said, "New house, new master."
The woman's daughter came home and the woman said, "I got us a
parrot." The parrot said, "New house, new master, new whores."
The woman's husband came home and the woman said, "Honey I got
us a parrot." The parrot said, "New house, new master, new
whores, HI George!!!"
RE: New name
Thank you MB. What is your old screen name? Is she retired, or does she occasionally make a guest appearance?....with MB's hairstyle? :)
RE: New name
I would imagine new or old would be welcome---@ $1.00 per minute, a mere $60 per hour for "friendship."
RE: New name
your problem with her price is? are you one of those who wishes to decide what a host can or can not charge? if you dont like the price... there are at least 1 or 2 other girls online you can go see
and if she is working at home that is 30$ per hour or if in studio that is 15$ per hour.... keep in mind she does not get 100%... 40-50% minus studio take. cheers
and if she is working at home that is 30$ per hour or if in studio that is 15$ per hour.... keep in mind she does not get 100%... 40-50% minus studio take. cheers
RE: New name
I have no problem with her price, or anyone's price. My problem is with the underlying assumption in this category (Make New Friends) that one ought to pay for friendship. The nominal aim and purpose of this category is disingenuous. CC is not only complicit with the hosts in this dissembling, they are the architect of it! I have no problem if a host does not care to engage in nudity. As with price it is her prerogative to do so, but PLEASE do not tell me your real purpose here is to make friends!
RE: New name
Why cant ones real purpose be to make friends here? Maybe your mind has noting in it other then seeing naked girls half your age…. But some of us actually enjoy talking with the girls. My original reason for joining CC had nothing to do with vids at all… it had to do with a real world friend of mine who worked here. I do agree it might be better just to rename the two categories as Non-adult… but some people do come here to make friends… and if they make some money in the process…. Who really cares? Not me. Thanks and have a good night
RE: New name
“hmmm,”
I won't, like you, conjecture what your mind may or may not have in it. I will attempt to answer your question, and try to make clear both what I AM saying and what I am NOT saying about the category itself and the possibility of friendship here in general.
In a previous thread I asked: “Is there anyone here who honestly believes that one should pay for friendship? Even more incomprehensible is what “Family” means in this context---what that the host’s dad should pay her to talk with her on Live Video?!!! Lol!”
I have heard some convoluted arguments* to somehow justify or rationalize the stark contradiction that is apparent to everyone, except those who are willfully blind because they have a need to deny the obvious: Paying for friendship is antithetical to the very nature of friendship. I am NOT criticizing a host’s desire to make money, but I AM saying the mere assertion that it is not the principal reason for being here is simply not credible because it does not square with the observable reality. What’s more, if friendship alone was the aim, why the need to come here? There are numerous free chat sites where one might pursue friendship without the ambiguities and veiled intentions so characteristic of these non-adult categories in particular.
*One such argument went something like this:
Host: “Haven’t you ever helped out a friend with money?”
Guest: “Yes, of course.”
Host: “So, why do you say friendship should not have anything to do with money?”
Guest: “I never said any such thing. I said it is antithetical to the nature of friendship
to pay for it. That I would help out a friend with money does not mean that
friendship is predicated on money. My decision to help a friend with
money is born of that friendship; it does not follow that friendship is born
of giving money to someone. If A is the cause of B, it does not follow that B
is the cause of A. If a virus causes a cold, it does not follow that a cold causes
a virus.”
Host: “Well, all I know is I’ve made lots of friends here and they often help me out
with money.”
In sum, the host’s argument amounts to mere assertion. The fact that a friendship of sorts may have developed between a host and guest does not prove the claim that the host’s primary intention here is to “make new friends.” I know friendships are made here, but they come about not because of, but in spite of the host’s real primary purpose here: to make money. The honest hosts (e.g. DarkMoon) acknowledge that reality.
I won't, like you, conjecture what your mind may or may not have in it. I will attempt to answer your question, and try to make clear both what I AM saying and what I am NOT saying about the category itself and the possibility of friendship here in general.
In a previous thread I asked: “Is there anyone here who honestly believes that one should pay for friendship? Even more incomprehensible is what “Family” means in this context---what that the host’s dad should pay her to talk with her on Live Video?!!! Lol!”
I have heard some convoluted arguments* to somehow justify or rationalize the stark contradiction that is apparent to everyone, except those who are willfully blind because they have a need to deny the obvious: Paying for friendship is antithetical to the very nature of friendship. I am NOT criticizing a host’s desire to make money, but I AM saying the mere assertion that it is not the principal reason for being here is simply not credible because it does not square with the observable reality. What’s more, if friendship alone was the aim, why the need to come here? There are numerous free chat sites where one might pursue friendship without the ambiguities and veiled intentions so characteristic of these non-adult categories in particular.
*One such argument went something like this:
Host: “Haven’t you ever helped out a friend with money?”
Guest: “Yes, of course.”
Host: “So, why do you say friendship should not have anything to do with money?”
Guest: “I never said any such thing. I said it is antithetical to the nature of friendship
to pay for it. That I would help out a friend with money does not mean that
friendship is predicated on money. My decision to help a friend with
money is born of that friendship; it does not follow that friendship is born
of giving money to someone. If A is the cause of B, it does not follow that B
is the cause of A. If a virus causes a cold, it does not follow that a cold causes
a virus.”
Host: “Well, all I know is I’ve made lots of friends here and they often help me out
with money.”
In sum, the host’s argument amounts to mere assertion. The fact that a friendship of sorts may have developed between a host and guest does not prove the claim that the host’s primary intention here is to “make new friends.” I know friendships are made here, but they come about not because of, but in spite of the host’s real primary purpose here: to make money. The honest hosts (e.g. DarkMoon) acknowledge that reality.
RE: New name
many names you have had Monika? Thinking i knew you some time back, but cant remember :-/
Cute hair cut btw :))
Cute hair cut btw :))
RE: New name
Whoever gave you that hair cut should be shot. How someone could take an absolutely beautiful woman with amazing hair and make her look terrible is beyond me. Please tell me it's a wig.
RE: New name
what she does is her choice,, and I am sure it the same girl.. not more or less pretty,,
just different hair style..
beauty is not a hair style,, but something someone sees or not ,,
M
just different hair style..
beauty is not a hair style,, but something someone sees or not ,,
M
RE: New name
dont listen to them, dear! you looked great, and you still do now. this new hair cut added to your charm, there is more style in you now :) all the very best to you! and good earnings here :)
Thank you my friends...
Wow i just saw your posts about me in viewer forum...Have to say GREAAAAAAAAAT THANKS!!!I'll try more best and best in future to make you more happy,dont doubt in me.Let's date today ::PPPP
RE: Difference Between Men and Women
I can think about it, but thinking is all freeda lets me do. :-))
RE: Difference Between Men and Women
Humorous observations Fluffy, and pretty much on the mark. Here are a few other random thoughts about the sexes made by observers throughout the ages:
If a man would be happy for a month, take a wife.
If he would be happy for a year, slaughter a pig
But if a man would be happy for all of his days, plant a garden
Chinese Proverb
"A misogynist is a man who hates women as much as they hate each other." H.L. Mencken
Lady Astor (?I beleive) to Winston Churchill: "Winston, If I were married to you, I would poison you."
Churchill: "Madam, If I were married to you, I would take it."
If a man would be happy for a month, take a wife.
If he would be happy for a year, slaughter a pig
But if a man would be happy for all of his days, plant a garden
Chinese Proverb
"A misogynist is a man who hates women as much as they hate each other." H.L. Mencken
Lady Astor (?I beleive) to Winston Churchill: "Winston, If I were married to you, I would poison you."
Churchill: "Madam, If I were married to you, I would take it."
RE: Difference Between Men and Women
Ty Fluffy, but I'm afraid you give me credit where none is due. (Or your sense of irony is subtler than I am used to! :) ) In any case, I'm glad you liked the citations.
RE: Difference Between Men and Women
Was Lady Astor the lady who also said to Churchill, 'Sir, you are drunk!' Winston, 'Yes Madam, but in the morning I will be sober but you will still be ugly!'
Not nice Winnie but funny! :-)
Not nice Winnie but funny! :-)
RE: Difference Between Men and Women
Yes she was Ally. I also agree cruel but funny although I prefer the poison one myself.
RE: Difference Between Men and Women
are both cheats in my book! double standards.... crazy!
but you are right... a lot of people and cultures see it that way... hope they will change that old way of thinking
but you are right... a lot of people and cultures see it that way... hope they will change that old way of thinking
RE: Difference Between Men and Women
You are right DB---a case of the proverbial "double standard."
RE: Difference Between Men and Women
I hear that in some parts of Turkey a woman who cheats is killed to save the honor of the family.
Finale: A sexist (but funny) joke
The late Sir Thomas Beechem, director of the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, was the last orchestra director in Europe and North America to admit women to its ranks. When a reporter asked him why, Beechem did not hesitate in his reply: "Simple really. If the woman is particularly attractive it will bother the men. And if she is not, it will bother me." lol!
Simple suggestions for hosts :))
These are some personal suggestions i have for hosts, which i believe can help them think of ways to improve what they do. Guys, put up your own to assist on this better-service never-ending odyssey, but please, oh please do not include useless posts like "get a plastic surgery", "make free shows", etc.
1.- Wear different clothes. You might have a super-ultra sexy outfit, but if you wear it every day, it might be a turn-off... not because of the way it looks, but because it's unhealthy not to change clothes.
2.- Upload new photos, even if just a few. If you look great in pics from 2003, well, great, but that's 4 years ago. In 2007 you might already have 20kg more, or 20kg less, you might have a beard, etc.
3.- Take 5 minutes to create a profile with more info. I never go and see a girl who has no info in her profile. Think of your profile as your bussiness card. How many lawyers, engineers, designers, etc, are there out there who have "XXX :PPPP =))) =)))))))" on their bussiness cards? Not many, i bet.
4.-If we are cam2cam, and you work in a studio, don't call your friends to come and see me. I don't call my friends nor co-workers to come see you. If you want to do so, better ask me first, i might agree (and then we can have a 3 way :D).
5.- Make a list with member's names, so you don't forget and don't have to ask again.. Adding info like "country", "age", "fetish" (lol) might be very useful to you. That way you can pretend you remember who i am in case you don't.
6.- If someone calls you on the phone, say "sorry, phone". Don't hide the phone and try to pretend it's very normal that you are showing me your belly (or your shoes) just out of nowhere so i don't see you're on the phone. BUT, remember you're at work, so you better talk fast :P ... for time is money. This applies for CC and ANY other job. Our bosses wouldn't let us members chat with you hosts in the office. Get what i mean? :)
That's all i can think for now :))
Cheers.
1.- Wear different clothes. You might have a super-ultra sexy outfit, but if you wear it every day, it might be a turn-off... not because of the way it looks, but because it's unhealthy not to change clothes.
2.- Upload new photos, even if just a few. If you look great in pics from 2003, well, great, but that's 4 years ago. In 2007 you might already have 20kg more, or 20kg less, you might have a beard, etc.
3.- Take 5 minutes to create a profile with more info. I never go and see a girl who has no info in her profile. Think of your profile as your bussiness card. How many lawyers, engineers, designers, etc, are there out there who have "XXX :PPPP =))) =)))))))" on their bussiness cards? Not many, i bet.
4.-If we are cam2cam, and you work in a studio, don't call your friends to come and see me. I don't call my friends nor co-workers to come see you. If you want to do so, better ask me first, i might agree (and then we can have a 3 way :D).
5.- Make a list with member's names, so you don't forget and don't have to ask again.. Adding info like "country", "age", "fetish" (lol) might be very useful to you. That way you can pretend you remember who i am in case you don't.
6.- If someone calls you on the phone, say "sorry, phone". Don't hide the phone and try to pretend it's very normal that you are showing me your belly (or your shoes) just out of nowhere so i don't see you're on the phone. BUT, remember you're at work, so you better talk fast :P ... for time is money. This applies for CC and ANY other job. Our bosses wouldn't let us members chat with you hosts in the office. Get what i mean? :)
That's all i can think for now :))
Cheers.
RE: Simple suggestions for hosts :))
Wow,You should work in studio as administrator:)))I suppose this advices are for newbies:P
RE: Simple suggestions for hosts :))
could do the job you do Sexy.... they just could not deal with anyone being rude to them, they just love to complain and try to run others lives :P
RE: Simple suggestions for hosts :))
Also. Wash your hair, brush your teeth from time to time. If you have a mustache wax it. Try and give a little smile during a video. I know you hate your job and me but it was your decision to work here. Remember you are performing for me not your gfs in the studio. Look at me not them. Stop chatting with other members during my video. Do you think I am stupid? You type for 2 minutes and all that appears on my screen is mmmmmmmmmmm. Also lower your price if you are not getting viewers. Supply and demand. Basic economics. Increase it when members are around. Lower it when members are scarce. Or just sit there and paint your toenails. Your call.
RE: Simple suggestions for hosts :))
you do not want to know that i am horny the very first second i am there with you??? but why should i tell you my name? or even be polite?
RE: Simple suggestions for hosts :))
know that.... it was just me being sarcastic.... not the host, but just in general. i have never cared for the trolls and children in this joint. and never cared for the rudness in some of the posts.
to host
maybe we should give them all numbers.so when they come to vid they can say"Hi,i'm horny 68..."or whatever their horny number is :--))
Mexico 29w - 12l - 10d
It was an interesting game to watch. Mexico played better than the USA (imo). But of course the USA scored in both (out of three?) chances they had. Mexico missed to score countless times.
There's a saying for the way Mexico plays football: "They play as good as ever, but they lose like always".
The USA has improved a lot, and that's a good thing.
There's a saying for the way Mexico plays football: "They play as good as ever, but they lose like always".
The USA has improved a lot, and that's a good thing.
RE: 4 NEW Members!!!
I just had a look at your profile and i saw something- lets say funny- there. On your "Turn off" i read you dont like simple guys! Amazing! I wonder what kind of guys you expect to visit your video. Here is a place where guys come because they feel alone, are unhappy on their marriage or just single and simple guys like me, looking for a nice girl to talk with, to have a laught, to share a joke or for some sexy fun.
Ohh boy! I not wonder now why i visit a single one host here!!!
Ohh boy! I not wonder now why i visit a single one host here!!!
RE: 4 NEW Members!!!
A___, You actually expect guests to read?!! Lol! Not only that, you encourage them to do so! What are we seeing--a "kindlier, gentler" Stripperella in 2007?!! Before long, you might even be even be retiring your ray gun! See what happens when you become a blond?! I warned you! :)
RE: 4 NEW Members!!!
Friend, thanks for the compliment. I hope, however, that you did not think my irony was a criticism of Stripperella; it was a compliment. I would not want to be the one responsible for causing you to spend even your first penny here, but if you decide to do so, you will find very few who can match beauty and brains with Stripperella.
I also think " 'tis me" is right. Stripperella is not putting down "simple" guys, as in "regular" guys. She is no doubt using the term in the pejorative sense, "simple" as in the kindred English word, "simpleton," meaning idiot or someone wanting in intelligence.
I also think " 'tis me" is right. Stripperella is not putting down "simple" guys, as in "regular" guys. She is no doubt using the term in the pejorative sense, "simple" as in the kindred English word, "simpleton," meaning idiot or someone wanting in intelligence.
Simple thoughts
I forgive myself for making mistakes
I forgive myself for not loving myself enough
I forgive myself for not realizing life is perfect
I forgive myself for not taking responsibility for my thoughts
I forgive myself for not taking responsibility for my actions
I forgive myself for my judgments
I forgive myself for feeling like crying
I forgive myself for having felt lost
I forgive myself for struggling
I forgive myself for not feeling worthy
I forgive myself for anyone I have ever hurt
I forgive myself for feeling anyone has ever hurt me
I forgive myself for denying the truth
I forgive myself for giving too much
I forgive myself for giving too little
I forgive myself for not owning my own power
I forgive myself for believing in imperfection
I forgive myself for feeling alone
I forgive myself for thinking too big
I forgive myself for thinking too small
I forgive myself for my fear of success
I forgive myself for my fear of failure
I forgive myself for any perception of lack
I forgive myself for feeling stuck
I forgive myself for living in the past
I forgive myself for feeling vulnerable
I forgive myself for trying too hard
I forgive myself for not remembering my true nature
I forgive myself for not living in the present moment
I forgive myself for not asking for God’s forgiveness
I forgive myself for not loving myself enough
I forgive myself for not realizing life is perfect
I forgive myself for not taking responsibility for my thoughts
I forgive myself for not taking responsibility for my actions
I forgive myself for my judgments
I forgive myself for feeling like crying
I forgive myself for having felt lost
I forgive myself for struggling
I forgive myself for not feeling worthy
I forgive myself for anyone I have ever hurt
I forgive myself for feeling anyone has ever hurt me
I forgive myself for denying the truth
I forgive myself for giving too much
I forgive myself for giving too little
I forgive myself for not owning my own power
I forgive myself for believing in imperfection
I forgive myself for feeling alone
I forgive myself for thinking too big
I forgive myself for thinking too small
I forgive myself for my fear of success
I forgive myself for my fear of failure
I forgive myself for any perception of lack
I forgive myself for feeling stuck
I forgive myself for living in the past
I forgive myself for feeling vulnerable
I forgive myself for trying too hard
I forgive myself for not remembering my true nature
I forgive myself for not living in the present moment
I forgive myself for not asking for God’s forgiveness
RE: Simple thoughts
Tired one", "Simple," but dangerously so. I genuinely appreciate you sentiment and it is a rather popular one in our age, and perhaps you are being entirely ironic as you lead readers to the last of your declarations: "I forgive myself for not asking God's forgiveness." But even here, the language belies a very modern problem, namely that the "Self" is someone the final arbiter of all our actions and relations in the world.
I think the fatal flaw, intimidated but not fully acknowledged in your final declaration, is the assumption that we can "forgive ourselves" anything. Let me hasten to add, lest all the feel-good, new agers jump all over me, that I am NOT suggesting that we ought not or cannot "give ourselves a break"---as the expression goes. My point is that only in a thoroughgoing narcissistic, self-referential society would the notion of "forgiving oneself" not be regarded as 'prima facie' absurd. The notion of forgiveness implies an 'other'. It implies an offense was committed outside oneself and therefore the forgiveness can only originate outside oneself. Even the claim, "Well, I only hurt myself," is not only demonstrably false, it is further evidence of the solipsistic and spiritually bankruptcy of our age.
I agree that one should give oneself a break, but in so doing we must realize that the origin of that “break” comes not from within, but from the love and kindness and willingness to forgive from those around us (and, some would argue, ultimately from God). It is not the ‘sui generis’ creation of the false Idol of the Modern Age: the Self.
I think the fatal flaw, intimidated but not fully acknowledged in your final declaration, is the assumption that we can "forgive ourselves" anything. Let me hasten to add, lest all the feel-good, new agers jump all over me, that I am NOT suggesting that we ought not or cannot "give ourselves a break"---as the expression goes. My point is that only in a thoroughgoing narcissistic, self-referential society would the notion of "forgiving oneself" not be regarded as 'prima facie' absurd. The notion of forgiveness implies an 'other'. It implies an offense was committed outside oneself and therefore the forgiveness can only originate outside oneself. Even the claim, "Well, I only hurt myself," is not only demonstrably false, it is further evidence of the solipsistic and spiritually bankruptcy of our age.
I agree that one should give oneself a break, but in so doing we must realize that the origin of that “break” comes not from within, but from the love and kindness and willingness to forgive from those around us (and, some would argue, ultimately from God). It is not the ‘sui generis’ creation of the false Idol of the Modern Age: the Self.
RE: Simple thoughts
O_O_, Why is forgiveness needed in the matter of what you are calling your "disadvantages?" As I said above in my reply to "tired one," I understand the sentiment, but I'm not sure---if I understand your remark---that "forgiveness" is the proper word to describe what I think you are trying to say. If, by "disadvantages," you mean your own personal shortcomings, and that you accept these shortcomings, good. But understanding our shortcomings and accepting them is not something requiring "forgiveness." Forgiveness implies the commission of some offense or wrongdoing. A human limitation does not constitute a wrong.
My point in my reply to "tired one" is that forgiveness must come from outside us. We can give ourselves a break, or not beat ourselves up over something we've done wrong. We can even---and must if we want to be free of the burden of guilt that weighs on our conscience---squarely acknowledge and accept responsibility for our wrongdoing, but we cannot "forgive" ourselves. That must come from an "other," human and/or divine.
My point in my reply to "tired one" is that forgiveness must come from outside us. We can give ourselves a break, or not beat ourselves up over something we've done wrong. We can even---and must if we want to be free of the burden of guilt that weighs on our conscience---squarely acknowledge and accept responsibility for our wrongdoing, but we cannot "forgive" ourselves. That must come from an "other," human and/or divine.
RE: Simple thoughts
Tired one, i really like ur post and I pray that I will be able to forgive myself.
Melomane, I agree with most of ur sociological remarks about our age. But i dont agree with ur central point: I am a psychotherapist and I work with victims of sexual abuse. For my clients (and of cousre for myself in the areas where i have been a victim of abuse) it is helpfull to find a way to forgive their wrongdoers (I hope this is the correct english term). But even more it is helpfull - if not say necesarry for them to forgive themselves the fact that they became victims. It might be difficult to understand this concept, but i think it is vital! Becoming a victim is not an action, and it is nor ur "fault". But if u do become a victim there will allways be a part in u that blames urself! U blame urself for being so weak, so vulnerable, so fragile. U can even hate urself for being vulnerable and fragile. And so i think the only solution is to forgive urself! (So in this way i agree very much with olgaolgas message!)
I agree with u, melomane, that forgiveness is something between one and another. - But i think just as we can have a dialogue with ourselves, or between different parts of ourselves, we can also be referential with ourselves and forgive ourselves. I have experienced this in therapeutic processes and in meditation. It is a process inside our hearts.
This doesnt not imply that there is a higher being that can give us forgiveness like in the christian (and maybe also other religion's) sense. But God would forgive us our actions, or maybe even our thoughts. But i dont see a need for God to forgive me my having become a victim. I think this i can and must only forgive myself.
Thx reading!
Pls give ur opinion.
Melomane, I agree with most of ur sociological remarks about our age. But i dont agree with ur central point: I am a psychotherapist and I work with victims of sexual abuse. For my clients (and of cousre for myself in the areas where i have been a victim of abuse) it is helpfull to find a way to forgive their wrongdoers (I hope this is the correct english term). But even more it is helpfull - if not say necesarry for them to forgive themselves the fact that they became victims. It might be difficult to understand this concept, but i think it is vital! Becoming a victim is not an action, and it is nor ur "fault". But if u do become a victim there will allways be a part in u that blames urself! U blame urself for being so weak, so vulnerable, so fragile. U can even hate urself for being vulnerable and fragile. And so i think the only solution is to forgive urself! (So in this way i agree very much with olgaolgas message!)
I agree with u, melomane, that forgiveness is something between one and another. - But i think just as we can have a dialogue with ourselves, or between different parts of ourselves, we can also be referential with ourselves and forgive ourselves. I have experienced this in therapeutic processes and in meditation. It is a process inside our hearts.
This doesnt not imply that there is a higher being that can give us forgiveness like in the christian (and maybe also other religion's) sense. But God would forgive us our actions, or maybe even our thoughts. But i dont see a need for God to forgive me my having become a victim. I think this i can and must only forgive myself.
Thx reading!
Pls give ur opinion.
RE: Simple thoughts
we can also make peace with ourself, i think is what the tired one wanted to say
RE: Simple thoughts
Long John,
You raise an interesting question concerning the phenomenon of someone feeling guilt for an action that he or she did not commit and for which the person is not responsible. I must confess I had not thought of this special case, and I thank you for writing, as it is clearly an important aspect of human psychology. It is a curious phenomenon that one should feel guilty or responsible for a malevolent action of which one was not the author, but rather a victim. I am not unfamiliar with the problem and it does not appear to be confined to victims of sexual abuse. As such, it may be more useful to examine this more broadly as it pertains to victimhood in general. A couple examples will suffice to make my point: I have heard reports of Holocaust survivors feeling guilty that they had survived while others did not. Then there is the much less serious, but common phenomenon of a victim of a common assault either physical or verbal in which the victim suffers, not just the expected righteous anger, but an accompanying feeling of guilt for somehow "allowing" himself (or herself) to be humiliated. It’s also interesting that no matter the precise nature of the offense, when people describe victimhood in vernacular and vulgar speech, they borrow the language of sexual abuse. They speak of “getting fucked” or in prison/street vernacular getting “punked” (i.e.sodomized). For men this means emasculation; for women a loss of chastity associated with their femininity. More succinctly, a loss of manhood and womanhood respectively. As you know, a victim’s suffering often takes on the form of an obsessive replaying of the trauma in which the victim fantasizes a different response to the assault, as if a compensatory David & Goliath-like dream.
Long John, the idea of the victim supplying, in effect, his own ‘other’ in the act of having a dialogue with himself is useful, but raises as many questions as it answers. I don’t disagree with the truth of your observation, but it causes me to ask from where this new voice arises, a voice that in the course of dialogue with oneself succeeds in moving the victim to an act of self-forgiveness, which helps to heal wounds and relieve his soul of the ceaseless torment resulting not merely from the trauma of the event, but also from the infernal dialogue of obsession alluded to above.
As self-conscious creatures capable of reflection, we carry on a dialogue with ourselves from our very early childhood until we die. As such, the act of self-dialogue comes as no surprise to me. What interests me more is the genesis of this new voice, this benevolent interloper who appears to overthrow the malevolent interlocutor that has imprisoned the Self in an obsessive, spirit-draining dialogue that bears no fruit.
Again, just where does this liberating voice come from? The answer is by no means self-evident or empirically observable, though the salutary effects of its arrival are. My sense is that it does not spring sui generis from the Self. (In fact, I reject the notion of an “essential Self”, but that is whole other discussion). Rather it is an effect of the individual having been touched in some way---directly or indirectly, consciously or unconsciously---by something outside himself. Thus, the ‘other’ in this so-called dialogue with oneself does not have its origins in the individual soul who suffers, but is by some spiritual process a result of one soul communing with another. In this way the external ‘other’ that is internalized becomes the agent of forgiveness, even though it may appear as if it sprang miraculously from within the soul of one who, by all evidence, lacks the capacity to bring it about. Lower the bucket as many times as you like, a dry well will never fill it. The healing must ultimately come from the spiritual succor of a source outside oneself. That moment arrives when the soul of the victim, so closed by trauma, finally opens to being refreshed by the healing waters outside itself. Thus equipped, the battered soul may then find he or she can engage in what I believe is mislabeled as an act of “self-forgiveness.”
P.S. I agree with you that a belief in God is not necessary for a solution to this problem.
You raise an interesting question concerning the phenomenon of someone feeling guilt for an action that he or she did not commit and for which the person is not responsible. I must confess I had not thought of this special case, and I thank you for writing, as it is clearly an important aspect of human psychology. It is a curious phenomenon that one should feel guilty or responsible for a malevolent action of which one was not the author, but rather a victim. I am not unfamiliar with the problem and it does not appear to be confined to victims of sexual abuse. As such, it may be more useful to examine this more broadly as it pertains to victimhood in general. A couple examples will suffice to make my point: I have heard reports of Holocaust survivors feeling guilty that they had survived while others did not. Then there is the much less serious, but common phenomenon of a victim of a common assault either physical or verbal in which the victim suffers, not just the expected righteous anger, but an accompanying feeling of guilt for somehow "allowing" himself (or herself) to be humiliated. It’s also interesting that no matter the precise nature of the offense, when people describe victimhood in vernacular and vulgar speech, they borrow the language of sexual abuse. They speak of “getting fucked” or in prison/street vernacular getting “punked” (i.e.sodomized). For men this means emasculation; for women a loss of chastity associated with their femininity. More succinctly, a loss of manhood and womanhood respectively. As you know, a victim’s suffering often takes on the form of an obsessive replaying of the trauma in which the victim fantasizes a different response to the assault, as if a compensatory David & Goliath-like dream.
Long John, the idea of the victim supplying, in effect, his own ‘other’ in the act of having a dialogue with himself is useful, but raises as many questions as it answers. I don’t disagree with the truth of your observation, but it causes me to ask from where this new voice arises, a voice that in the course of dialogue with oneself succeeds in moving the victim to an act of self-forgiveness, which helps to heal wounds and relieve his soul of the ceaseless torment resulting not merely from the trauma of the event, but also from the infernal dialogue of obsession alluded to above.
As self-conscious creatures capable of reflection, we carry on a dialogue with ourselves from our very early childhood until we die. As such, the act of self-dialogue comes as no surprise to me. What interests me more is the genesis of this new voice, this benevolent interloper who appears to overthrow the malevolent interlocutor that has imprisoned the Self in an obsessive, spirit-draining dialogue that bears no fruit.
Again, just where does this liberating voice come from? The answer is by no means self-evident or empirically observable, though the salutary effects of its arrival are. My sense is that it does not spring sui generis from the Self. (In fact, I reject the notion of an “essential Self”, but that is whole other discussion). Rather it is an effect of the individual having been touched in some way---directly or indirectly, consciously or unconsciously---by something outside himself. Thus, the ‘other’ in this so-called dialogue with oneself does not have its origins in the individual soul who suffers, but is by some spiritual process a result of one soul communing with another. In this way the external ‘other’ that is internalized becomes the agent of forgiveness, even though it may appear as if it sprang miraculously from within the soul of one who, by all evidence, lacks the capacity to bring it about. Lower the bucket as many times as you like, a dry well will never fill it. The healing must ultimately come from the spiritual succor of a source outside oneself. That moment arrives when the soul of the victim, so closed by trauma, finally opens to being refreshed by the healing waters outside itself. Thus equipped, the battered soul may then find he or she can engage in what I believe is mislabeled as an act of “self-forgiveness.”
P.S. I agree with you that a belief in God is not necessary for a solution to this problem.
RE: clothes
Skirts are great. Forget panty hose. I can't believe some of you wear them. Thong panties are the best. I personally like a top with buttons. Leave a few buttons undone. Try and match your bra and panties in color. Something cute. Lacy. Take your time getting out of the clothes but not to the point of stalling or appearing scammy. Shirt first, skirt, bra, panties. Look at the camera.
RE: clothes
has a different style... best to fit what you look good in :)
i do agree street clothes can be very nice.... lovely top and skirt... or a nice tight pair of jeans :))
i do agree street clothes can be very nice.... lovely top and skirt... or a nice tight pair of jeans :))
Hosts
I just came across a profile... real hot looking girl, nicely put together profile... so I went into the photo archive to see a few shots before going into vid... well the newest photo is from April 2005. That is almost 2 years ago! I would suggest updating at least 1 time per week... dont need 100's of shots each time... but just a couple would be nice :) My humble opinion hope you dont mind. Cheers
RE: St. Valentine's Day
thoughts freeda. thanks a lot for sharing. What plans you have for the holiday?? Hope you will have a wonderful love filled day!
Mondo???
you about her plans... what you two up to? whats going on? come on man spill the beans :))
RE: Mondo???
Well, it was a secret and a surprise, but she's blown it now. But i'm still not telling. :-) Moya Varen'ka will have to tell you after the event.
RE: St. Valentine's Day
How about
1. Rent the DVD "Nasty Anal Lesibans" and watch it together
2. She who can drink the most beer in an hour
3. Take a tour of the local slaughtering house
4. Try slam dancing
5. Two words; Cock Fight
6. Pay two bums to fight, winner get 40 of the cheapest beer you can find
7. Do a 3 way with your best friend
8. Go to the church and heckle from the back row
9. Re-consider feltching
10. Go to a Seafood buffet and eat till you puke.
1. Rent the DVD "Nasty Anal Lesibans" and watch it together
2. She who can drink the most beer in an hour
3. Take a tour of the local slaughtering house
4. Try slam dancing
5. Two words; Cock Fight
6. Pay two bums to fight, winner get 40 of the cheapest beer you can find
7. Do a 3 way with your best friend
8. Go to the church and heckle from the back row
9. Re-consider feltching
10. Go to a Seafood buffet and eat till you puke.
RE: St. Valentine's Day
you are interesting freeda,you're just not interested(thought i would try to get in before a wiseacre takes a shot).p. get mondo to show you his dirty dancing on St V's day :--))
RE: St. Valentine's Day
Hey, tisyou, the love freeda and I share transcends "dirty dancing". Nice idea, though ;-)
RE: St. Valentine's Day
we don't celebrate Valentines Day in our house. It's just another way of getting you to spend money.
Did we ever find out where SeksieAngel went to?
i remember someone asking a while ago... but just curious if anyone has talked with her, how she is doing... any updates. Hope the sweet angel is doing well, smiling and enjoying her life!
RE: Had enough?
I can't argue with your logic, tisme. Enough is enough, just as X = X. Just wondering what limit "Gluttony" had in mind.
RE: Had enough?
...or if you notice that you are starting to blister. that's always a good sign that you need to take a break.
RE: Happy Bday!!!!!!
..they did ...he got more happy birthday's wishes than the president of US lol
RE: Attention Seeking Behavior
If you asked these girls to post about you, you need a doc!!!!!
RE: Attention Seeking Behavior
Lol! You can't say you didn't ask for it. However, if it's not what you had in mind, console yourself with a line from the Irish writer Brendan Behan who said, "There's no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary."
MEN VS WOMAN at ATM's
MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new drive-through ATM machines
enabling customers to withdraw cash
without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined below when accessing their account s."
"After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been
developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
**********************************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to all ow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary; with your PIN written on the inside
back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new drive-through ATM machines
enabling customers to withdraw cash
without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined below when accessing their account s."
"After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been
developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
**********************************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to all ow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary; with your PIN written on the inside
back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
RE: Check your Dirty IQ!
1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I? The dentist
2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I? A wedding ring
3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I? Peanut butter
4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I? No clue
5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I? An elevator
6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I? Birthday candles?
7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I? The paper boy?
8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I? Gloves?
9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I? No clue
10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I? No clue
2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I? A wedding ring
3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I? Peanut butter
4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I? No clue
5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I? An elevator
6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I? Birthday candles?
7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I? The paper boy?
8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I? Gloves?
9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I? No clue
10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I? No clue
RE: Check your Dirty IQ!
Questions:
1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I? dentist
2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I? wedding ring
3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I? peanut butter
4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I? bubble gum
5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I? elevator
6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I? nose
7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I? mail man
8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I? gloves
9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I? wrecking ball
10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I? can of shaving cream
1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I? dentist
2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I? wedding ring
3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I? peanut butter
4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I? bubble gum
5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I? elevator
6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I? nose
7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I? mail man
8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I? gloves
9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I? wrecking ball
10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I? can of shaving cream
RE: my baby
was here a few days ago.... maybe she is just on a short holiday... time off for studies, exams... that kind of thing :)
RE: my baby
unaceptable! These woman need to be here 24 hours a day. Any hint of a social life and I fly off into a jelous rage.
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry